#So I had to manually try to make it match the other.

[pureanonofficial]

LES MIS LETTERS IN ADAPTATION - One Should Always Begin by Arresting the Victims, LM 3.8.21 (Les Miserables 1972)

Thénardier took the pistol and aimed at Javert. Javert, who was only three paces from him, stared intently at him and contented himself with saying:— “Come now, don’t fire. You’ll miss fire.” Thénardier pulled the trigger. The pistol missed fire. “Didn’t I tell you so!” ejaculated Javert.

[xitsensunmoon]

My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)

The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!

Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.

The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)

Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c

As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!

And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.

I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.

Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)

[endereies]

FEEL BETTER YET? - MS

No Nut November - Day 7

NNN Masterlist...

-➤ When you are on your period, Matt is always there to look after you

Every month you endured pain like no other, your abdomen puncturing you from the inside out. It was only 3am but it felt like you had been up for hours, tossing and turning to find any relief. Painkillers failed to aid you and if you moved too much, spurts of nausea floated around your body.

The one thing you were concerned about was not staining your boyfriend’s sheets underneath you. You had already changed a few times in the night, at that point it was better to stay there. The entirety of your body was pushed against the radiator, locating any lingering warmth you could without having to manually do it yourself.

It was agonising, the fact this had to happen at all to you made emotions sky rocket. The trembles of your body matched the way your breathing shuddered when your stomach clenched.

Just as another tear fell, the light above you flickered on.

“Baby? Fuck…are you okay?” Matt was by your side in an instant, his touch giving you the warm you desperately were trying to clutch onto. He was quietly analysing you and the scene in front of him as his concern increased. Each time you wanted to speak smoothly, the sharp pains constructed you. It just made you whimper in pain and it broke Matt’s heart.

He was used to you having rough periods, but this was on another level. You couldn't breathe. You couldn’t think clearly, your mind fogged with the sheer agony within.

“Why aren’t you in bed baby, you could’ve woken me…you know that…” His tone was gentle and made you sob a few more tears before any words left.

“I- I didn’t want to bloody your sheets..or uh bother you…” You looked away once you saw his face twist into one almost filled with guilt. Independency was idolised by you, he saw it in everything you did. But he wanted to take care of you, this was the small sliver he had and he was going to use that.

“I’ll be back, okay? Just two seconds my love.” Just as quickly as he spoke, he left. The light above remained on, a signal he was still there. Rustling was heard in the distance but once the pain surged it was hard to focus on. Everything was too much. Towels bunched up around you, trying to protect you from the pain, no matter how much it didn’t work.

The sharp pains in your stomach had only gotten worse, even after medication. Every time that Matt crossed your mind it only made you feel so needy, clingy. Like a burden.

Matt returned quickly with his hands full on certain products you couldn’t quite make out. “So first off, I got the chocolates from the fridge I saved for you, and some of those sweets you like to chew…” The packets were held up as he showed them off to you. “I got some of the stronger medications for if you needed to top off with them, uh, I grabbed your socks too and just made a hot water bottle for you. I know last time was a little too hot, so I put some cold water into it as well. “

His gaze finally met your eyes, staring at the pile with tears forming. It was obvious you weren't blinking so that you didn't cry. You knew if you had tried to speak, your emotions would quickly be revealed, if they weren't already by your expression. Your lips switched into a small smile, full of gratitude towards him.

“I- Thank you…really”

“Anytime, I mean that. I just want to be here for you, no matter what.” You let out a small chuckle, allowing yourself to finally give into his efforts to take care of you, you needed it in the moment. Not that you’d admit that to him. He quickly placed the items on your his bed before returning to your side.

One arm reached under your knees while the other supported your back as he pulled you to his chest. It was warm and it was safe. You almost forgot about the pain. Almost.

He lowered you onto the mattress on your side of the bed before handing you the hot water bottle, along side your medication and a drink. He wanted to look after you, not overwhelm you. Matt pulled back from you, climbing under the duvet alongside you.

“I don’t want you to worry about the sheets or bothering me, just worry about yourself. You’re my priority and I never wanting you to think that ill ignore your pain. Never ever will I do that to you sweetheart.” His voice was barely heard over my breathing and a part of you wanted to ignore it, you couldn’t.

Subconsciously your body drew close towards him, the heat of the bottle inching closer to his skin until your head lay on his shoulder. “Feel better yet?” You nodded slightly. The pain had subsided, the bottle and his words warming the aches away.

“I love you, you know that right?” A soft smile covered his lips, placing a light kiss on your head.

“I love you too..”

This was what you needed.

@melliflws @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerrss @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris @colorthecosmos444 @anabethinking @zay-sturns @anyaa2s @emilyfaith2003 @jassturn @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @sturniolosiphone @ribread03

© ENDEREIES 2024

[cosmosis]

MOVED TO @seratopia

miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - surprise visit modern au!

an unfamiliar secretary won’t let you into the building to visit your husband, Miguel, at his office

Visiting your husband at work may as well be the best way for you to spend your day off. He’s been working hard, his passion truly bursting at the seams when he talks to you about the latest improvement project he’s been working on for the past three weeks. 

You’re walking down the sidewalk in an outfit you knew would make Miguel go crazy, holding a nice bouquet of flowers in your arm. You decided men don’t get flowers enough, so you’re here to fill in that gap. He really deserves more than flowers anyway. 

With the badge embedded into your watch, you scan your wrist against the access monitor on the wall. The doors automatically open, and you feel a nice gust of air conditioning run into you. 

The office is very modern, clean, and sleek. All around you are advanced units of technology; a result of your husband’s successes. It smells the same it always has; clean, crisp, and slightly minty. As you walk through the doors, you’re greeted with the exact same things you always are; same lounge chairs, same grand elevator... 

Though, you don’t recognize the secretary at the desk. 

She’s blonde, red lipstick smeared onto her tight lips in an unwelcoming frown. A matching pearl set adorned over her crisp, dark blue blazer. 

Usually, you’d say hi to the secretary you knew, Lyla. You assume she got fired, which was a real shame, you love her sass. She was always so kind to you, saying hi with a smile, or offering to help guide you through the office and such. 

But instead, you walk right past the desk, digging through your memories to find how you managed to find Miguel’s main office last time. 

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?“

Her voice is just as snarky as you had imagined. 

“Visiting Miguel?“ You pause, your patience already growing extremely thin for the new secretary. You’d probably chat about this to Miguel later, maybe bat an eyelash or two to convince him about hiring someone different. 

“Nuh uh! Miguel O’Hara is busy right now, not open for any visitors at the moment.“ She replies, fixating her eyes on the large monitor in front of her. 

You pause for a moment, critically thinking things through for a moment. 

“Oh! I get it. M’am, you haven’t met me before, have you?“ You ask, trying your best to not crinkle the flowers in your hands. She raises a single eyebrow, glaring as if you insulted her mother. (Which, you might as well should do.)

“I’m Miguel’s spouse. He lets me visit him whenever, I even have my badge right here-“

She holds up a single manicured finger. 

“Nice try, but my charts right here say that Miguel is busy at the moment. Try another time, maybe send him a fan letter or something.“

Your blood starts to boil as the new secretary has a satisfied smirk on her face. 

Instead of choosing violence and risking your hair getting ruined, you opt for the better option. Glaring at the desk manager directly in the eye, you pull out your cellphone from your pocket, manually pressing the contact button for Miguel. You wait for the phone to dial, pressing the cellular to your ear whilst examining your own nails. 

And finally, he answers. 

“Hm? You need something, honey?“

“Miguel.“

Miguel on the other line, freezes to a halt. Now, he knows he’s in trouble. Carefully, he clears his throat. 

“What is it, sweetie?“

You take a deep breath. “Your... secretary isn’t letting me into the office. Will you fix that, please?”

Miguel pinches between his eyebrows, groaning. 

“Of course, hun. I’ll be down in a sec.“

“Thank you, Miguel.“

The call ends, but the secretary still stares at you like you’ve thrown up all over her salad. She almost looks like she’s going to laugh, which makes you even madder. 

Within literally a few seconds, the elevator whirs to a halt, the top light switching on with a chime. As expected, your husband walks through the sliding doors, clad in a crisp white dress shirt and office pants. He’s so undeniably gorgeous, you almost consider forgiving the secretary. 

But, you don’t. 

“Ah, Miguel, this p-“

“Shut your mouth for moment, would you?“

The woman is taken aback, red bursting onto her cheeks as her fake smile melts into a frown. Her mouth is left agape, watching as Miguel saunters over to you with a smile. 

“What happened?“ Miguel asks, his Office Face™ dissolving into a genuine smile. He slots his hands to your waist, silently peering at the flowers in your arms. 

“Well, I was going to come surprise you... but then she said that you were busy.” You reply, pouting. 

“Aww, baby, it’s okay.“ He smooches the top of your head. “The flowers are pretty. I’ll handle this.“

Miguel then swerves around, this time with his Office Face™ on. He keeps his hand glued to your side, each step of his getting louder and louder as he makes his way towards the desk. 

“Tiffany.“

Tiffany, in question, shudders, keeping her eyes glued to the floor while a shit-eating smirk finds its’ way onto your face. No remorse whatsoever. 

“From now, until tonight, please let my partner into the building whenever they like.“

“Yes, sir. Why until tonight?“ 

“Because I’m firing you from any future stand-in’s, or any sort of work in here for the matter.“

Miguel: 1 Tiffany: 0

Tiffany looks like she has so much she wants to say, so much that she could scream at this very moment... but instead, she stays silent. You can see a vein practically ready to burst at her temple, her jaw grinding her teeth in her mouth. 

“I will dismiss you at the end of the day, Tiffany. I expect you to cause no more trouble until then.“

Tiffany is left utterly speechless, her jaw left slightly agape. Miguel ushers you by your back towards the elevator, poking and prodding his finger at the flowers in your grasp. 

Automatically, the elevator doors smoothly slide open, and you both step inside. You stare at the glass view outside, watching as the two of you get higher and higher above the city.

“I even had my badge, and she didn’t let me.“ You frown, indulgently leaning into Miguel’s chest. 

“I’m sorry, hun. Lyla’s out sick for a bit, so she was the only substitute I could find for today.“

Apologetically, he rubs your back, secretly praying that you’d forget about the whole ordeal so you’d pay attention to him instead. 

“S’okay. Thank god Lyla wasn’t fired.“ You mumble, breathing a sigh of relief. 

“She’s annoying, but she does her job well.“ Miguel remarks, and you gasp, personally offended on behalf of your beloved Lyla. 

“No she’s not! She’s super nice, actually.“

“Whatever.” Miguel scoffs. “Kiss me.”

“No. You called Lyla annoying.” 

these oneshots have really skyrocketed my account! thank you guys so much for the positive feedback, i love loveee reading all the comments i get! please stay tuned for more!

- cosmosis <333

© 𝒄𝒐𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔.

[oct0bra1ns]

knockout!

Synopsis: So what if the referee was his obsession Pairing: Yandere boxer x referee reader Tw: manipulation, mentions of bringing harm to others, yanderes , breaking bones notes:  i read a 13 pages manual for this, appreciate me pls, also imma make my masterlist soon >.> reblogs and comments are appreciated!

Yandere boxer! Who was your friend and gave you the idea for applying to the job, sure it’s an underground ring but hey, money’s money and he assured you it wasn’t that bad.

Yandere boxer! Who gives you a smirk the first time he sees you in uniform, sure it looked horrible on everyone else but it looked good on you. He leaves you alone before the match, his relationship with you was only between the two of you.

Yandere boxer! Who keeps you in his room, asking you stupid questions just to take up your time, i mean, why should his opponent spend any time with you.

Yandere boxer! Who can’t help but make you flustered when you check over his gear, especially with how delicate your hands are when you remove his piercings, scolding him for being stupid enough to leave it on.

Yandere boxer! Who’s a completely different person when he steps into the ring, he goes from being your friend to being one of the most respected boxers in the place, someone who was known for being ruthless.

Yandere boxer! Who can’t help but have a look of pride and also amusement when you try to enforce the rules, challenging people who were basically criminals. A bit silly but he doesn’t mind.

Yandere boxer! Who completely ruined his opponent’s life and limbs after they had the nerve to lay their hands on you, accusing you for foul play. This was an underground sport, what did the pest expect?

Yandere boxer! Who checks over you, making sure you weren’t badly injured after the match and making sure to patch any injuries you had.

Yandere boxer!who never loses in his official matches but comes home battered and bruised just so you can take care of him.

Yandere boxer! Who stops caring about the rules and walks around with you before the match, making sure no one touches you.

Yandere boxer! Who broke his boss’s hand when he tried to get you away from him, no matter what you were staying.

Yandere boxer!was a force to be reckoned with in the hidden fight clubs, but it was the you who held your heart outside of the brutal confines of the makeshift rings

[tradgedyinwaves]

Touch - Ch. 3

Poly!141 x chunky!reader tw: Just a tad smutty, more like an idea of smut rather than the stuff itself. 

Two Weeks Later. Friday.

You stood outside under an awning, waiting for the bus to show up as you texted away on your phone. A soft smile had plastered itself to your face the longer you texted with the big Scot, but one thing you’d noticed is that he was always mentioning the other members of his team, not that he’d told you what they do.

“John is a pro at fixing up cars, never seen a car he couldn’t fix.” “Lordie, this pasta is good. Gaz is always making amazing food.” “Remind me not to bet against Simon again. Lost all of my money on that rugby match last night.” 

He never referred to Simon by his callsign, not wanting to give you any reason to recognize or connect the dots. Eventually, they’d each come to you, injecting themselves into your life one by one. You’d told Johnny that your car had broken down a few days ago, complaining that the bus was always late and it never had any open seats, but you didn’t have the money to get it fixed. He’d offered for John to come take a look, but you’d insisted it was fine. Except it wasn’t. After a week of bus rides, you were ready to take him up on the offer. 

🪻: Hey Johnny? Would your friend be able to take a look at my car? I can’t bear the bus anymore. 🧼: Of course. We can come tonight once you’re off work? 🪻: oh thank you so much! You guys are truly the best. 🧼: Anything for you, Petal.

You blushed at his message, stepping onto the bus in much better spirits than before.

A few hours later, there was a knock at your door and you jumped at the sound, getting up from the couch to open it and smiling shyly as Johnny’s face came into view. You hadn’t seen him in person since that day in the flower shop, exchanging pictures over the last two weeks, but nothing else. His scruff was freshly trimmed, bright eyes shining at you, but it wasn’t him that made your eyes bug. It was the man standing just behind and slightly to the left of him, wide frame blocking light from the hallway.

“Aye, this is Price,” Johnny’s thick accent sounded jovial as you stepped back, opening the door for these two men. Oh, Magda was going to have a heyday when you told her about this. “You can call me John if you like, little bird,” the older man stated, passing through the door to stand next to it. You stammered a bit before shaking your head and introducing yourself, closing the door softly. “I’m sorry, I thought you were gonna take a bit longer. I’ll go change and then take you guys down to my car,” you offered, giving them small smiles as they nodded to you before disappearing into your bedroom. You took a moment to lean against the door, fighting with your thundering heart rate as you closed your eyes and leaned your head back. Clearing your head, you moved from the door to change into some jeans and a simple shirt, tossing the shorts you’d been wearing into the corner.

While you were changing, the two men were having an almost silent conversation in your living room. “Cap, did you see-?” Johnny’s eyes met Price’s who only gave him a hard stare and the slightest nod. Between the pretty color on your cheeks and those damn shorts, both men were having their control tested. And you only served to make it worse, coming out in jeans that hugged your hips and ass in a way that left nothing to the imagination. They were just as bad as the shorts.

“Ready?” you asked, trying to stay chipper as to not betray your rapid heart beat or the way your voice wavered on the word. “Lead the way, Petal.” Johnny gave you one of his lopsided smiles and you had to switch to manual breathing.

A few minutes later, you were down on the street with them, rambling on about what you thought the problem could be. “It’s possible it’s the alternator, but it could also be the battery. I’m honestly not sure at this point. It was a hunk of junk when I bought it,” you babbled out, forcing yourself to stop after a few moments of long-winded speech and the soft looks the two men were giving you.

John had himself under the vehicle in minutes, thankful that his line of sight to you was blocked. You were unknowingly challenging both of them with your thick waist and that pretty look you got in your eyes when you were looking at either of them. He wasn’t even sure how Johnny was coping, standing that close to you.

But Johnny wasn’t coping. If you looked away for even a moment during your conversation, he was readjusting himself to make his obvious arousal even the tiniest amount less obvious. You’d caught him once but didn’t say anything, turning to watch John under your car while you struggled to hide the blush that covered your cheeks. Sometimes, you were grateful you were a girl, though your squeezing thighs weren’t as subtle as you thought they were and Johnny had to clear his throat to hide the groan that threatened to spill forward.

Finally, John was sliding out from under the car and standing before you, covered in grease and wiping his hands on a towel. Suffice it to say, if you’d been a man, your desire for them would have been just as apparent as theirs. With a soft grunt, John was directing you to try to start it, making you jump to action. Darting over to the driver’s seat, you slid the key in and almost cried when it started. You hopped back out, running over to John to wrap your arms around his middle, thanking him profusely for fixing it and how could you ever repay him.

“Let me take you out, little bird.” 

Your eyes widened while your arms released the huge man, flipping between Johnny and Price, eyes filled with confusion when the former gave you a soft smile and a nod. You’d thought Johnny would ask you at some point, but you supposed that he hadn’t in two weeks, so why would he now? Chewing the inside of your lip, you nodded. “I’d love to,” you replied while your cheeks turned a bit pink and you could have sworn you saw them share a look over your head. “We’d best be going. I’ll pick you up tomorrow, 8pm,” John stated, a warm smile on his face as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head before moving to clean up his tools. Johnny joined you and you looked up at him with the same confusion, though you couldn’t bring yourself to voice it. He just gazed down at you with those pretty blues, a soft smile on his lips that looked a little more like a smirk than anything else. “Don’t look at me like that, Petal,” Johnny whispered to you as Price started to move his tools to his truck, hugging you tightly before walking away to get into the truck. “See ya soon, pretty bird.” 

Hours later, laying in bed, you reflected on your evening. You’d been touched more in the last few hours than you had in years and it made your mind a little hazy. If it wasn’t Johnny’s hand on your lower back as the three of you trekked down the stairs, it was Price’s arm slung over your shoulders as you explained what happened when your infernal car died. From there it was Johnny’s small touches like brushing your hair back and then finally Price’s kiss to the top of your head that had your body feeling like they’d set little fires down everywhere they touched. 

There was a foreign feeling inside when you laid down that night. The ache between your thighs and the simmering flames they’d left behind creating a buzzing in your ears that you just couldn’t shake no matter how much chamomile tea you’d drank or how many breathing exercises you did. So finally, you did something you hadn’t even thought of in months. Sliding your fingers under the shorts you’d slipped back on when they left, you let out a soft moan as your fingers found the throbbing bundle of nerves and rubbed quick, precise circles on it. Your brain conjured some filthy images of the two hulking men taking you however they saw fit, not that you’d ever admit it. 

I hope you guys are enjoying this and thank you so much for the support! I promise I'm not forgetting Gaz and Ghost. It's just not their time yet. They'll get their shot, pink promise.

[sirfrogsworth]

When I got to this photo in Katrina's collection of vintage family imagery, I was pretty stumped as to how to approach it.

There is a major problem when you zoom in to 100%.

The paper it was developed on has little micro bumps. When it was scanned, the light from the scanner caused a highlight on one side of the bump and a shadow on the other. This causes a pattern which is nearly impossible to eliminate using traditional techniques.

The easiest way to fix this is actually quite clever. You scan it once, then turn it upside down and scan it again. The second pass reverses the side the highlight and shadow appear on, so you can combine the images in Photoshop and blend them together, essentially canceling out the bumps. It's weirdly analogous to noise canceling headphones.

But I don't have access to the physical copy of this image.

So... now what?

Enter Fast Fourier Transform or FFT.

This is a filter that uses extra fancy math to recognize patterns in the image and eliminate them. There is a pretty good filter for Photoshop, but it does not work easily with newer Macs with Apple Silicon. I really did not want to figure that out, and I also was too tired to go downstairs to my PC. However, I learned that a Photoshop competitor, Affinity Photo, has this filter built in. So, I downloaded a trial copy and started the process of trying to figure out how to fix this image.

It was amazingly simple. It brings up these star patterns and you just paint black circles over every one but the center. It literally felt like magic. (Full screen with sound recommended)

So once I did this process I ended up with this...

The paper still had a rough texture but it was much easier to work with using traditional techniques. I started with a black and white conversion and meticulously went through the photo zapping scratches and flaws and balancing tones and sharpening facial features. All of my photo restoration tricks were needed.

I eventually landed here...

I then thought maybe I should match the sepia tone of the original print, so I got to here...

I think the black and white looks nicer in this instance, but I always like having options and this is the most faithful representation of how the photo originally looked.

But there is something else I have been playing around with lately. Photoshop has these experimental neural filters that use cloud processing to do various tricky enhancements. Most of them are in beta and they can be very quirky. But they have a colorizer that tries to detect people and things and adds color to them. Not every black and white photo is a good candidate. I have found these professional portrait photos work decently, but the filter is very hit-and-miss. And there are tools within the filter to help you make a miss more of a hit, but often I have to accept the photo isn't going to work.

But I decided to give it a shot with this one and surprisingly, the colorizer got me most of the way there.

I can work with that.

The one thing it does well is skin. Manually painting color onto skin is tricky and requires more skill and knowledge of traditional painting techniques than I have. But if a filter can do that part for me, I can do the rest.

So after my touchups, I got the image to here.

All I have left to do is my standard color enhancements to make them a little less ghostly and a little more human.

And I present to you where I started and the finished product. I encourage you to flip back and forth.

I'm not sure how, but I was able to go from an image I thought was impossible to edit to a beautiful colorized memory for my best friend's mom. I cannot wait to show her.

[fuckyeahmhawkefenris]

I promised myself that I would never ever bring it up because I have enough stress in my life already and these discussions take up a lot of time and energy and require a lot more witt and eloquence than I posess.

But.

This wound has been out there for many many years, and I feel that now it starts festering again, and since I have taken it upon myself to preserve our history, I feel that it would be simply wrong to remain silent when I have something to say.

So, you probably know I make fenhawke renders in XPS using models extracted from da2.

My Fenris model uses these textures

But I must point out that I had to manually edit them to look like this, because the original game textures look like this:

(I believe they do, because the dude who shared the models only did the extracting, and is not known for editing textures)

Want to know why I did what I did?

Because I spent much much MUCH more time looking at fanart of Fenris, than playing the actual game, and at some point it started feeling wrong to me to have him so pale. My vision of him was influenced by the fandom.

That doesn't change the fact that THAT's how he looks in the game.

Can you see where I'm going with this?

Come and tell me that it's impossible to take him for a generic white dude.

Racism is bad, duh

Whitewashing dark skinned characters is bad, DUH

Many of you may have gotten immersed in the wide world of modding (I can't do it, all known mods change too much about Fenris for my liking, and I need him to have his iconic features), but

can we please stop pretending that Fenris in the original game was obviously depicted as dark skinned?

Because that's some stupid bullshit that has caused and still causes a great number of people, mostly artists (often casual fans), a lot of distress, and outright promotes bullying hiding it behind an image - illusion - of social justice.

Yeah, in 2014 we got Dorian and Krem and some others in DAI, finally seeing what people of Tevinter look like.

But guess what? In 2012 we had no idea, and could only guess. Back then we actually had discussions about this, offering opinions and not being afraid to talk? In 2012 we did not really know how to portray Fenris, and artists made their own choices.

In da2 the only tevinters we encountered were

For the best, probably, because had they been depicted as dark skinned, that would have likely become a case of some very unfortunate implications. Looks pretty hopeless to me, either way.

ETA: and of course I forgot Fenris's SISTER

I'm not saying that racism is not an issue in this fandom. It is, obviously, like anywhere else.

But can you imagine a person who played DA2 (exclusively, without getting into DAO or DAI or trying to explore the fandom and looking at more fanart), taking a liking to Fenris and deciding to make fanart of him and sharing it with the fandom, and then having angry anons come to their ask box accusing them of racism? For depicting Fenris in the only way that is known to them?

Think about it for a minute.

I've witnessed a number of such happenings over my time here, and I've been around since 2012.

If you take the time to look at our old fanart, you'll find various depictions of Fenris. Some darker, some lighter, but back then NOTHING could be considered wrong, because we had too little to go on.

It would have been funny had it not been so bloody SAD to see older pictures circulating the net and read comments filled with rage and hurt over whitewashing brown characters.

I get it, you want to fight for justice, but THIS is not JUSTICE.

That right there is some act 3 Meredith level of lunacy seeing blood magic everywhere and condemning innocent mages.

Before you decide to go harass an artist who made a picture that does not match your vision, take a few minutes to think about how justified it would be. Weigh your options and at least choose your words carefully.

I shudder to think how many potential fans had been put off and turned away from this fandom, left wondering wth is wrong with us.

---

ETA: concerning lighting https://fuckyeahmhawkefenris.tumblr.com/post/772588487945879552

[m00ngirl777]

Pleeeaaaaassse

Peter Parker x Reader

kiss number...12

“Hey, munchkin, how you doing?” Your dad said, looking at a screen, sipping his, probably not first, coffee.

“Terrible,” You said, getting closer to Peter, who still hadn’t acknowledged you. 

“That’s my girl,”

summary: You're on your period, trying to distract him from work, him fixing his suit, you desperately need attention because you have horrible cramps.

A/N: you are Tony Starks daughter, this is completely self indulgent, but tbh what do I do that isn't???? ummm, just my silly writing, self insert pretty much, thxx for reading, love u, byeeee. xoxo. -N.

p.s. my requests are open my loves<333

tw: periods, my writing, cramps, Tylenol shout out, idkkk, y/n stark.

wc: 1013

_ _ _

“Hi, dad,” You entered your dad’s workshop with a super soft, chunky knit, baby pink blanket wrapped around you, an almost matching pair of socks covering your feet, black pajama shorts and a grey tank, messy hair, a sluggish step.

“Hey, munchkin, how you doing?” He said, looking at a screen, sipping his, probably not first, coffee.

“Terrible,” You said, getting closer to Peter, who still hadn’t acknowledged you. 

“That’s my girl,”

“Mhm,” 

“Hi, baby,” You stood right next to him, he had a little screwdriver in his hand, the other flattening his suit against the table, another even tinier screwdriver being held by his lips, eyebrows scrunched, as he looked through a lens with led light, doing whatever he was doing. Peter mumbled a hey, through tight lips.

Because you barely got an acknowledgement you decided to make yourself present by standing right behind him and leaning down, your messy undone curls falling freely into his face, you shook your head softly, to tickle him a little, and then placed a kiss on his forehead. Peter let out a breath, knowing you wanted something, and that you were determined to get it. 

You struggled to drag the nearest chair beside his, without letting your blanket fall from your shoulders, and sat down leaning your head on his shoulder “whatcha doing, Pete?” His eyes darted to you then back to his work, grabbing the little screwdriver and placing it on the table.

“Just my suit, baby, the sensors have been glitching…no idea why, I already ran like four diagnostics, and nothing, just checking one by one…manually,” He said, pulling himself out of deep concentration, he was clearly tired, frustrated even. 

“So you are like…super busy?” You kept the tone of your voice very low, almost a whisper, you craned your neck slightly and kissed the spot right below his ear. 

“Uh…I-I…yeah, yeah kinda, umm…why?” He finally turned his face to you, his bottom lip tucked in between his teeth.

“Can you come to bed with me? Please?” you whispered in his ear and kissed the edge of his jaw.  

“Baby…I’m…I’m really busy right now,” He looked at you pleading.

“Peter!” You threw your head back, falling back into him, whining out his name with a slight groan, very exaggerated, making your dad give you a look from where he was, before getting back to his own work. 

“Sorry, baby, but really, I’ve been putting this off for weeks, and with the sensors glitching my video blacks out and my sound gets all weird, and it really distracts me when I’m out, the other day I almost got stabbed, like it’s serious, really,” He ranted, right before you could give him a reason why, you scrunched your face lightly, and sharply sucked in air through your teeth, making a hiss like sound, you buried your face in his collar, and further hugged your throw blanket, curling into yourself, that's when he smelled a familiar metallic tang.

“Are you bleeding? Are you okay?” For a moment he dropped everything he was doing and placed his hands on you.

“It’s just my period, dumbass,” Still leaning on him you opened your eyes just to roll them at him. 

“Oh…right, you get those,” He would’ve felt more stupid if he hadn’t felt relieved you weren’t in actual danger, “Is that why you want me in bed with you?” He gave you a cheeky smile, looking down at you, were you rested on him. 

“Yes, please, I’m in so much pain,” You let go of the blanket and wrapped yout arms around his neck, fully cuddling him like this, “please, please, please.”

“Y/n, I’m so sorry baby, but I really have to finish this, just give me like an hour, okay?” he placed a hand on your arm that was wrapped around his front, and soft kisses in your hair, “I promise, baby,” You tighten your hold around him, then slowly let go.

“I’ll be waiting for you,” And so you rewrapped the blanket around you, walked yourself back to your room, feeling a little defeated, and curled into a ball, in the middle of your bed, mindlessly playing “gossip girl” on your TV, looking for a distraction.

“Hey, baby…how’s my girl?” After two episodes of being annoyed at Serena, he finally came to you. He sat down next to your head and placed a hand on your hair, stroking it softly.

“When I sit down, I feel like needles shoot up my asshole,” You stated simply, he had to muster another kind of strength to not burst out laughing. 

“Have you eaten anything?” No answer, “how bad do you feel, one to ten?” He leaned down, to rest his head on your shoulder.

“Solid 6,” 

“Would this little bag turn it down to 4-5 maybe?” He lifted his arm with a very proud smile.

“What is that?” You said, lifting yourself up.

He dumped the contents on your bed, a fresh pack of rapid release Tylenol, knowing how concerningly quick you ran through it, a shiring pack of Twix, and one of Reece’s, and a fresh box of raspberry leaf tea he had read help cramps. 

“Babyyyyyy” You said, grabbing the Twix pack and ripping it open, you took a bite and hummed, at the crunchy, chocolatey, caramely thing, then reached your hand out to offer Peter one, which, he gladly took. 

“Do you want some tea? Something to eat? A heating pad?” He said pushing the items back in the bag, leaving them on the bedside. 

“Get in bed with me?” You said looking up to him.

“Let me think about it…” He said, standing with one knee resting on the bed, arms crossed, pretending to be lost in thought.

“Pleeeaaaaassse” You said arching slightly in the bed, reaching for him.

“Okay, okay, baby,” He said, chuckling softly, he kicked his shoes and dropped down, laying on top of you, you held him to your chest, wrapping legs and arms around him. Content that finally you got your way, all it took was a simple please.

[inbabylontheywept]

Following back on the recent fusionposting to run a very technically unqualified intuition I have by you

When talking about baseload power generation, the conversation inevitably turns to nuclear, with a common narrative that certain countries are irrationally afraid of nuclear for not copying the successful policies of their neighbours (usually it's about Germany or Austria needing to emulate France)

What I've wanted to run by you is this viewpoint I've had for a while - that the economics of nuclear power are different from other sources, and that that may better explain the choices of policymakers:

The procurement of nuclear power seems much closer to military procurement in my eyes, with costs stemming from the management of standards, supply chains being inflexible and project/nation-dependent, and the costs of maintaining regional expertise overshadowing the costs that build physical capital.

Can you confirm/disconfirm any of these impressions?

I'm only slightly more qualified than you, unfortunately. I haven't work in the nuclear power sector. I have coworkers that have, and their stories do seem to check out with your descriptions.

Like, in a military style contract, parts might cost 4 times as much as a civilian part, because the military tests the parts much, much more stringently. You don't test the screws at home depot to make sure they match the metal composition, or that their sheer strength matches X, or on and on. You have a baseline level of trust that comes from market forces. But military supplies don't have market forces to work with - there isn't exactly a market for, say, F-35s. So they have to try and catch this manually instead of via crowdsourcing, and the results are painful.

That's military procurement, and I work with that enough to know why it exists. Even if it hurts.

Now, that sound very similar to nuclear power, which also analyzes everything to the T because the cost of failure is so ridiculously high. The coworker I mentioned before that worked for reactor said her first year learn-the-ropes project was doing a report on the safety consequences of swapping the lights from fluorescent to LED in the main office buildings. It was a 200+ page thing going over how the new lights would affect the backup power duration stats, hazards of the new lights vs the old ones (LEDs are less tolereant of undervoltage than fluorescents), things like that. I would imagine that in that case, they probably spent at least 4 or 5 times as much analyzing the impact of the lighting than they actually spent on the lighting.

This drives efficiency oriented people kind of crazy, but the whole point of these systems is not to be efficient. It is to be extremely resistant to failure. Ludicrously, insanely, painfully resistant. Because in the military case, a bad batch of bolts normally worth $40 could make a $35 million plane crash, and in the nuclear case, a meltdown could literally cause trillions of dollars of damage. The Fukushima meltdown is estimated to have caused $200 billion worth of damage, and it was not even close to a worst case scenario.

Anyway, I'm rambling a little, but your intuition seems good to me. I love nuclear power, but people suggesting that we "slash all the red tape around it" scare the shit out of me. They have no idea what they're fucking with, and if we're all very, very lucky, they never will.

[deepdreamnights]

Using Vidu to Make Character Turnarounds

Disclosure: I am in the Vidu Artist Program.

Having (at the very least) front and back reference greatly improves the quality of character image prompting. And very often, one finds that they were lazy and only got a couple of bits of character reference. Or they have tons of it in the wrong art style.

A character like Wally Manmoth requires some good reference to work right.

Now, it's not that hard to prompt up something that matches close enough and then modifying the stuff manually until it works, such as I did with TriceraBruce and DeinoSteve:

You can tell Steve's the bad boy because he's got a cool rip in the back of his jacket.

But for Wally, I decided to try out Vidu as a means of getting turnaround frames.

So I loaded Wally's front-view pic (above) into the image-to-video feature, and prompted with:

vintage traditional animation scene (1985) humanoid mammoth/furry elephant wearing a red hawaiian shirt and blue shorts, by filmation and sunbow productions, 90s colors, friendly on green background, streamlined black line art with cel shaded vintage cartoon color, official media, character design fullbody shot on green background. The mammoth-anthro starts facing the camera, turning around to face away from the viewer, providing a view of his back.

I gave it two shots at the 720x quality setting (12 points per, total of 24), and got:

Huh. Weird it happened twice, etc.

This demonstrates both that the tech is viable for this use, and the reason you'd want to have that multi-view reference. The robot clearly assumes that a luau shirt would have a large print on the back, whereas wally's is a more basic print. That's ultra easy to fix, though.

I started by exporting the last frame of each (or close to it, picking the one that looks cleanest)

While its image editing features and often touch-and-go, one thing the Midjourney edit feature has going for it is it's utility as an upscaler. You load the image in, make your tweaks (just a little bit of background if you're just upscaling) and then upscale and at the very least you have 2048x2048 worth of resolution.

I used the midjourney edit process, that got those two images to the following state, as a test.

The results are good, but getting the large trees to erase-and-replace out took several attempts, and just doing it in photoshop then using the editor to upscale would have been faster.

This is why we do tests.

I went with the slightly-at-an-angle one for the main reference sheet. I'll be keeping the straight-on-back-shot in case it winds up being useful for specific scenes down the line.

In photoshop, I touched up the shirt print, made sure the colors where consistent, and simplified the hair coloration to something more period-plausible.

No more giant trees on the back! On the other hand, I think the feet sprouting toes on the heel is going to be something I'll be fixing frame-by-frame until there's another revision.

Human characters will induce these issues less often. I just stick with my genre of choice.

Midjourney was not cooperating with TyrannoMax (it really doesn't like giving him the proportions I like, preferring to make him a weird big-head salamander), so I went the same direction, resulting in this stage 1 front/back:

Only Midjourney refused to work with it, at all. Declaring everything that came out of it too lewd for its internal censor. Apparently, this hunky relative of cheesasaurus rex is too sexy for general consumption. Nevermind that it's a cartoon lizard in a shade tangello orange.

The workaround is too dumb for words.

Slam the hue slider until it's off anything that could be perceived as a human skintone.

Then make the modifications. Here I had to rework the leg several times, and do a lot of tweaking to remove-overinking. Then I popped it back out, droped it back into lineart, re-colored it, and and composited it back together:

And voila, a front and back for Max. I shortened his tail, as the longer tails have been causing problems with confusing the image prompting systems. The armor skirt has scallops to accommodate the tail, which looked better more consistently than the flaps folding around the tail.

The results are, thus far, encouraging.

Of course, if the back of your character has any unexpected details, you're going to have to add those in after the fact or include them in the prompting, and you're going to be making a lot of edits regardless (as you should).

Oh, and Max has a sword now.

A blade of amber crystal with a fossilized femur grip and a faceted dino-eye that should be far enough away from the Eye of Thundera for safety. A roleplay-toy friendly trademark weapon, usually a sword, was a must-have for 80s action-adventure lines despite the fact that you'd never see it used on anything that wasn't a robot, living statue, or skeleton.

Thus the sword's gimmick is it cleaves through non-living matter with ease but anything BS&P doesn't want subjected to a stabbin's is encased in amber crystal: locked in place if partially encased, put into suspended animation if fully encased. A nice, nonlethal use for a magic sword.

It's proportioned like a gladius, but is generally interpreted as larger, approaching a broadsword, in keeping with the generally ridiculous blade sizes of kidvid fantasy. They're just more fun when they're stupidly huge.

Is "Sword of Eons" too on the nose?

[howtofightwrite]

So happy you're back after all this time! I have a question, do you happen to know how people fought in ancient rome? Particularly gladiators and soldiers? Sorry if this isn't the blog for this question tho!

I think we've covered both of these questions independently over the years.

Gladiators were a performance sport. It was more about glorifying the Roman Empire and its victories, than a conventional fight. As a result, most Gladiators were armed with specific variant, “loadouts,” designed to cosplay as various enemies that The Empire had conquered, and they only fought against specific countering variants. Specifically, the variants would be matched in such a way that it would be difficult for either combatant to have a decisive advantage over the other, with an eye towards creating situations that would result in a lot of visible injuries, without serious harm to either participant.

In case it needs to be said, gladiators were a significant financial investment, and they weren't casually killed in the arena. The point was for visible injuries, and a bloody spectacle, not a slaughter. Sometimes someone would die, but having them die on the field wasn't the intention, and they generated a lot of money, and on the rare cases when they were killed, it was meant to be a climactic moment, not someone taking a blade to the gut and collapsing mid-fight.

Obviously, I'm barely scratching the surface here, because it gets a lot deeper, but the simple answer is that in the vast majority of cases, gladiators were armed with weapons that were designed to make seriously harming their foe difficult to impossible. Also, the gladiators were something that evolved and became more complicated over time. When they first started in the Republic, it was a much more stripped down structure with prisoners of war being given a sword and shield and forced to face off against one another.

As for the Roman Legions. I'm not sure I've ever seen a comprehensive description of their training techniques. The Testudo, (or Tortoise) is one of the more famous examples of their specific combat style. Legionaries would create a shield wall, and the soldiers behind the front line would raise their shields to cover the formation against attacks from above (usually arrow fire, or thrown spears.) While being able to strike with javelins. In practice, the formation had issues, including being vulnerable to siege fire, and mounted archers were able to easily flank the formation. It's a neat story, but the formation had serious limitations.

One thing we haven't talked about before (I think) was the Roman's use of biological warfare. During sieges, they would load (locally sourced, I assume) corpses onto catapults, and then launch them into the besieged city.

Beyond, the major thing about the Legions was the extremely disciplined and orderly combat formations, with a lot of attention paid to managing battlefield movement. It wasn't so much about exceptional individual performance, so much as their ability to operate as a unit. This isn't a particularly mind blowing concept today, but in an era when professional soldiers were the exception, or limited to the elite forces, it had slightly more impact.

Regarding the details of their training, I've never seen any of that come up. Now, granted, I've really tried to research that degree of Roman history. So, if you're asking, “how, exactly, did they swing the gladius?” I don't know, and I don't remember ever seeing anyone credibly claim they had that insight. As far as I know, the only surviving Roman training manual was De Re Militari, (there's around 200 surviving Latin copies) which is far more concerned with overall strategic planning and command. If you're trying to write Roman era military fiction, it's probably worth reading. So, I'm not sure this is exactly what you were looking for, but I do hope it helps.

-Starke

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[vegan-kaktus]

Hi there! You seem like an expert when it comes to defaulting things, so I was wondering if you could maybe help me?

I've been trying to default some maxis objects (just simple deco items like sculptures, paintings, rugs) with CC items and I'm somehow failing at the replacing part. I know how to clone the original object, delete all the resources I don't need etc, but everytime I try to replace the textures and the mesh, the result in game is either the original maxis object/mesh but with the new textures applied to it or the new mesh shows up in game, but the matching textures don't show up (just the mesh in white with the "letters and numbers" missing texture look).

I feel like I'm replacing the textures correctly (I use DDS utilities and the "Build DXT option to replace the textures), but maybe I'm doing something wrong when I try to replace the mesh? Could you maybe explain how to do this correctly for stupid people?

Or am I missing a step where I need to "link" or "connect" the new mesh and the new textures somehow to make them recognoze each other?

(I've tried searching for tutorials everywhere, but the only ones 2 I found don't explain the parts I'm struggling with and everything else seems to be just clothing and hair.)

Hello anon! If there is one thing I know how to do in ts2, it's default replacements 🤠 but I'm no expert (thank you for thinking so highly of my skills though ahha) and you're not stupid at all!!

I think I know what you're doing wrong, but I decided to write a full tutorial anyway, hope you don't mind. @celebkiriedhel and @episims have both already made two awesome tutorials and I'm not adding anything revolutionary here, but I thought it easier to explain everything from scratch instead of starting in the middle. Tagging @sims2tutorials in case it's reblog-worthy!

Tutorial: object default replacement

I usually extract the resources myself manually in SimPE bc Object Workshop sometimes have trouble extracting everything and sometimes it extracts completely irrelevant resources (I've only had this problem with food though), but extracting the files yourself requires some "knowledge" (more like gut feeling hahah) of how the resources are named (and also that you have locked (i.e made read-only) all of the objects.package files in every ep/sp folder). I kind of explained how to use finder in these two tutorials (ohmygOD is past me I cringe) but I also explained how to use it here as well. If you're a beginner, I would recommend using the object workshop though.

Note: NVIDIA dds utilites (mirror), SimPE and the CEP are required.

Extracting resources via object workshop:

1. Open SimPE, click on object workshop and then click on "start":

1A. If you plan on editing EA's texture, you'll want to export the 0_lifo file (this is the highest quality of the texture, not every object has one though. The toothbrush for example doesn't). To export, you click on the resource, click on "plugin view", right click on the texture and choose "export" and save it somewhere.

2. After SimPE has extracted all, you can delete everything but the resources you want to replace, in your case, the texture (_txtr) and mesh (_gmdc). Select the other resources, right click on one of them and choose "delete". Click on "file" - "save as", name your file and save it. Then the resources you deleted will be gone and your package should look something like this (depending on what resources you kept):

How to manually export resources via Finder:

1. Click on "finder", change "object search" to "namemap search", type in "plantbonsai" where it says "match" and click on "start". SimPE will load a bit and then you'll see the resources matching plantbonsai:

Please excuse the weird color missmatch on the right, it's such a hassle editing screenshots from a widescreen monitor haha.

Click on "plugin view" (here you can click on preview to see how the mesh looks), right click on the resource and choose "extract". Save it somewhere.

Go back to "finder" and scroll all the way down. Double click on "plantbonsai-surface_txtr" and repeat the same steps to extract it, like you did with the mesh.

2. Click on "finder" once again and double click on "plantbonsai_small-surface0_lifo". Change to "plugin view" and export the texture (the same steps as I explained in step 1A.) if you're planning on editing EA's original texture.

Be careful not to accidentally import/replace any resource here! You’re poking in object-files located in the program files folder and they should never be edited, you only want to extract things out of these files, never into! This is why you want to lock the files :-)

3. When you've extracted the resources you want, click on "file - new" and then right click anywhere and choose "add". Choose the extracted resources and click "ok".

Regardless of which way you choose to extract the resources, your file should look something like this when you're done:

How to replace resources:

Now, I assume you have edited EA's texture and/or mesh to your liking, or you have already extracted the mesh + texture from a custom object.

How to replace textures:

Click on the texture resource, change to "plugin view", right click on the texture and choose "build DTX".

This window will pop up:

After choosing your texture, click on "build". Click on "commit" to save your changes.

How to replace meshes:

If you have a extracted a custom mesh, you have to double check that the group name(s) are the same as EA's object you are replacing. This you can do in Milkshape (key, unimesh) or in SimPE. I'll explain how to do it in SimPE since it's the most beginner-friendly.

You can also edit the SHPE to edit the group(s) name(s), but that's another way and if I don't stop myself I'll be here forever hahaha.

1. Click on the gmdc (aka the mesh) and copy the resource name. Then right click on the mesh (the resource) and choose "replace". Select your new/custom mesh.

This window will pop up, click "yes":

2. You'll notice the mesh name has changed, this is why we copied the original filename before doing any changes. Now you can simply paste the original filename and then click on commit.

2A. If your newly imported mesh has a different group name than EA's original you'll have to edit that/those. For example:

To fix this, click on "groups":

Edit the name and click on commit to save the changes.

3. Save the package (file - save or ctrl + s) and you're done!

I could go on forever explaining (for example, if your mesh has more groups than EA's original, how to clone and make new resources etc) but I'll stop here. I've already spent way too many hours on this tutorial hahaha, why am I so slow 😭 with that being said, do let me know if I fucked up somewhere.

I hope this helped, and do let me know if anything is unclear anon! Or if you need more help!!

[twistedwonderlandsimps]

Shapeshifter!Yuu

I'm just here to mix-and-match different kinds of Yuus with different kinds of personalities to see what monstrosity I can make. That being said,,, Shapeshifter!Yuu brainrot! 

Basically like Penny from The Amazing World of Gumball after she broke out of her shell (literally) after Gumball confessed to her, but in a bit of an uncanny valley sort of way (at first, that is). 

So anyway, Yuu’s a shapeshifter but when they first arrived in Twisted Wonderland, their presence was basically nonexistent and they almost always blended into the background, if not for Grim who constantly brought attention to them. 

To those who paid attention closely, they could tell there was something weird about Yuu. 

They were almost eldritch-like, in an uncanny valley kind of way, like their body didn’t quite fit them but they were trying to force themselves to fit it even when it couldn’t. 

Especially with the behaviors they exhibited, how their smiles seem a bit too forced and too wide to be considered normal, how often they blink their eyes a little too late, or how their chest slows to a stop as if they forgot how to breathe that people have to literally ask them if they’re still even alive.

They just seemed too much that it was like they were manually controlling every single thing in their body, from their nerves to their heartbeat, just to be seen as normal yet still somehow failing at it. 

Sometimes, Grim has to stay awake at night and watch Yuu because he’s worried of how still and lifeless they look while sleeping, and the fact that their heartbeat slows down a little too much scares him.

But of course this doesn’t last long. 

Being in Twisted Wonderland was too emotionally stimulating for them and it didn’t take long for them to snap.

It first happened with Riddle, when he overblotted. 

Getting insulted and looked down on was the last straw for Yuu. 

They stood in place, a smile frozen on their face as they stared at Riddle. 

Then, the corner of their eyes twitched, their smile straining as their facade slowly broke. 

But no one noticed this, not when everybody was too focused on Ace who was verbally challenging Riddle who was starting to show signs of blotting.

It was delayed, Yuu’s reaction that is. 

From a very young age, they were told that their emotions were both a blessing and a curse. 

That was why they were taught and encouraged by their family to conceal it as best as they could while they were still young. 

Emotions were… complicated, so to say. 

When a child from their family becomes too emotionally stimulated, it would often lead to destruction. 

They were just too unstable and the elders in their family were worried that everyone would see them as monsters if they ever went out of control so they believed that it was for everyone’s best interest if they conceal, don’t feel (lmao, Elsa logic) as per their family’s tradition. 

But of course not every family tradition was exactly the healthiest, and Yuu’s whole family has got to be the most emotionally constipated family there ever was in their world. 

Being sent into an unknown world? Yes, that was scary, but Yuu had to control themselves and they tried their best not to burden others.

When they stood in front of the mirror that told them that their home didn’t exist, their nails sharpened under their robes (a self-defense reaction, unavoidable, really) but at least they stopped themselves right there and didn’t shift into something monstrous. 

When they were left all alone in a rundown dorm, they had to force themselves to not breakdown and cry.

When they were threatened by Leona in the botanical garden, they held their form as normal as it could. 

But they had always been tipping over the edge ever since they arrived in this unknown world. 

Like a glass of water ready to spill or a dam ready to break. 

They just had so many emotions but no idea how to show it.

However, faced with this– this! Being insulted and then getting attacked! 

It was… unforgivable! 

Unforgivableunforgivableunforgivableunforgivableunforgivableunforgivableunforgivableunforgivableunforgivable–!

Well anyway, basically both Riddle and Yuu had a mental breakdown at the same time and everyone got to see Yuu turn into this gargantuan creature and deck the overblot monster, that eerily held a resemblance to the Queen of Hearts, hovering behind Riddle while Trey and the others focused on trying to knock Riddle out.

Once it was over, Yuu seemingly disappeared out of nowhere. 

Except, not really. They were still in the Rose Maze. 

Yuu just turned into this very small, translucent blob that fit perfectly in Deuce’s palm. 

Grim found them on the ground next to this black stone that smelled really delicious. 

“Y-Yuu…? It’s you, right?” Deuce hesitantly asks in a low voice as he stares at Yuu’s small form, careful not to jostle them around too much. “Are you alright? Do you feel okay?”

“Oh no, I broke it…” Yuu doesn’t answer him and wails instead, voice small and squeaky.

“What broke? Are you hurt? Did you break your bones? Do you even have bones when you’re like this?” Ace chimed from Deuce’s side, relentlessly poking Yuu’s wispy form. Yuu just wails even louder.

They weren’t hurt, physically at least. They just felt very sad, guilty, and upset that they broke their promise with their family to not shapeshift. 

But ever since the first time they shapeshifted, it felt as if a huge burden was taken off of their shoulders. They felt… lighter. 

This doesn’t mean that they approved themselves suddenly shifting. 

In fact, they still feel guilty every time they do it due to their upbringing but they’re finding it harder and harder to control. 

It took them some time before they accepted that this part of them was normal, that it was normal to feel this way and they were just shapeshifting according to how they felt and that was fine. 

Sure, there were some lingering feelings, especially fear because Yuu’s scared that what they were doing was wrong, that they were letting their family down.

There are days when they think that breaking free from their family’s teachings felt wonderful, and there are days when they just felt downright awful for not heeding their words.

Afterall, their family constantly taught from a very young age that they weren’t allowed to show their emotions so would it be really easy to get rid of such a teaching when they grew up? 

No, it wasn’t, but at least they’re gradually learning.

For the meantime, Yuu’s very emotionally constipated, more so than the others who lived in Twisted Wonderland.

The first time Yuu met Malleus, they shifted into a rabbit because they got scared by the sounds of footsteps heading towards them in the middle of the night. 

Malleus found this amusing, especially when Yuu shifted back to their normal form to show that they weren’t scared of Malleus.

And then the Diasomnia student proceeded to talk about gargoyles.

Every chapter arc probably has had Yuu shapeshift into a new form. 

Each one is different and unique since there’s a lot of emotions that can mix together and form something new.

Yuu’s shapeshifting abilities aren't limited to what Penny can only transform into. They’re more flexible so there’s a lot of combinations possible they can shapeshift into.

Am I going to make a description of those transformations? Nnnnooo. Maybe some other time. It’s 3 am, it’s honestly surprising how my brain’s even still working at this point.

Anyway, Yuu in their normal human form starts to become less uncanny and more human the more they shapeshift since they’ve become less worried about controlling and maintaining their form so they look normal.

Their movements become more natural and their expressions more lively, so unlike before when they first stepped into Twisted Wonderland.

Also someone telling Yuu: “That’s not what you are. It’s just how you feel.” 

And it’s most probably going to be Grim.

Smh smh, the boys failed to score some extra brownie points from Yuu, too bad for them.

Anyway, time to pass out, lmao.

[steaming-system-takes]

my hot take is that internet system culture absolutely DESTROYS one of the key principles of dissociative identity at its core. hear me out.

disclaimer: not pro endo!

everyone in basically any context would agree that every individual's brain is a highly unique fingerprint and a projection of an uncontrollable consciousness. that being SAID. why are there RULES about how a system can and can't function? i understand that there are diagnostic criteria and trends, but it is so important to understand that this stuff is literally curated by our subconscious minds and is NOT SUBJECT TO CONTROL OR CONFORMITY !

how is it possible that introjects can't exist? you're telling me that my subconscious mind is able to create People out of thin air and force my mind to split itself into pieces but it also follows rules on what the guy's name can be and how he can act and what he looks like? (in tandem with each other of course)

this is my Issue With Internet System Culture. we can all agree that DID is severely under-researched but somehow we also manage to make up these random rules for ourselves.

i have had a very personal experience with this, which is why i feel qualified to talk about it. i spent the first few years of knowing my system on twitter (of all ungodly places) and my system behaved like everyone elses. co-conciousness, small numbers, lots of labels, super rigid roles, introjects dont deviate from source, solid switching, etc etc.

once i got off of twitter and just started hanging out on my own, my system's behavior changed DRAMATICALLY.

The Stuff You Feed Your Subconscious Mind Will Impact How It Treats Your System.

once i stopped letting the influence of system Rules and what can and can't happen, my system digressed into a more logical (but less rigid) process. roles spread out, the front room held a different function, switches felt different, even fronting was almost a different experience. and it was SO MUCH EASIER. i haven't felt like i was faking in over a year. i haven't worried about splitting in so long.

systems, with all the love and respect on this planet and in my heart, if you feel like you're faking, delete the app. unfollow the tag. your brain is a fingerprint, stop trying to match it to anyone else's . your system functions in a unique and curated way in order to protect you in your childhood. there was no manual when your trauma happened. i love you 🫶

^

[twwings]

so I spent the last few months just marathoning The Magnus Archives??? I was curious and I have a long-ish commute that I need to fill with audio, so I went for it. I was somewhat spoiled by fanart I saw randomly over the years but not entirely spoiled, and I quite enjoyed it. Some thoughts (both positive and negative thoughts below) because I wanted to write them down as I chew over the show. Also my ramblings might be pleasurable to folks who are big fans and enjoy hearing about people listening to their thing for the first time?

Spoilers for all of TMA, but as I haven't listened to The Magnus Protocol yet (I'm sure I will) no spoilers for that.

thoughts in no particular order:

didn't know that my trypophobia could be activated aurally! thanks, season one. it's good to learn about yourself

because I had seen lots of fanarts around, I knew that Jon/Martin would eventually be a canon thing, so I just spent the early episodes making fun of Jon whenever he was mean about Martin. Jon would be like "ugh, Martin, amirite?" and I'd yell at the car speakers like "lol you're gonna MARRY that guy"

sometimes I found the show a little boring or too expositiony (like the episode where Leitner shows up) and it made me think a lot about the conditions of production, like, having fans who were super into the show and red stringing it up clearly made them want to explain things sometimes in a way not necessary to the story - or, at least, it didn't feel necessary to me as a casual listener who was coming in after the fact and not part of the fandom. maybe it felt necessary for other folks, or to the cast and crew at the time.

relatedly, oh god, I did not keep up with all the plotlines and stuff. like it took me a WHILE to realize that the show was not just gonna be standalone/anthology stuff and would have an overarching plot so I did not pay attention early on to repeated names or plots. and because I was listening on my commute I was like "welp, can't google it, gonna let it go" and I did. I'm here to tell you that the magnus archives is still enjoyable even if you don't care that much about what's going on

when I did really start to care was the end of season four/season five. absolutely love that they went there with the end of season four (I thought it'd just be a buffy-style "now we fight a BIGGER big bad at the end of this season" escalation forever, but no, they unleashed hell on earth, baller move, A+, loved it

so I was spoiled that Martin (and Jon? I wasn't sure) died at some point, though I didn't really know where or how. I also saw someone post something like "oh TMA, great show, too bad it ends after five minutes into episode 160" so from that I kind of extrapolated that Martin died in episode 160? so my experience of listening to that one was REALLY on tenterhooks because the first five minutes was Martin going for a nice walk! and then Jon getting taken over by the statement! so while listening to the middle bit of 160 I was convinced that when Martin came back from his walk Jon was gonna kill him (while possessed, obviously) as part of the ritual thing. so really the following 40 episodes of Martin being alive were pretty sweet to me. Every episode after that when Martin was alive I was like, score, bonus, love it, I'm glad Jon didn't stab him three seconds after they got into a relationship

kept listening for a physical description of Jon to match all the fanart and never got one? I guess the fanon of what Jon looks like is just super consistent for some reason?

hated Tim, I can't disguise it, I hated Tim and I was glad when he died and I was glad he didn't come back, sorry Tim fans, live your truth and I will live mine

wish there weren't so many cops on this show, tho the show did seem to recognize that a little in S5 and try to do some things about it

I'm just a huge sucker for every genre experiment in S5. omg I loved it. Terminus gets a coroner's report, The Unknowing gets slam poetry, The Flesh gets a gardening manual?????? mwah. it made me excited for the format of the statements again when they'd gotten stale. so many smart and interesting genre experiments in S5! and I, like Jon, don't even like poetry (just write some prose! I've never identified with a character more), so you know I'm impressed when I'm exclaiming about some poem

seriously! the genre experiments!!! so good

"queer couple navigate their new relationship and also The Hellscapes" = amazing, ty, also ty for doing it twice

somehow I managed not to notice the line about Jon being asexual at first and then I saw some tumblr post about it and I was like, wait what? my brain had gone pretty far down into some non-asexual fanfiction stories before I got that bit of canon and had to record-scratch freeze-frame. anyway I am pleased by the ace rep and hope to go read some non-sexual D/s for them in the future, please tell me if you know some good stuff

please also tell me if you know about fanfictions where Martin consensually feeds Jon his own memories and it's weird and intense

saw a cute fluffy domestic fanart where Jon was blind (ie had blinded himself to escape the eye) and I laughed and laughed that this is a fandom in which the happy fluffy AUs are the ones where the characters have violently blinded themselves. not to say I'm not gonna read the fluffy AUs where they've violently blinded themselves, I am, I'm sure they're lovely, it's just funny

don't think I wasn't thinking about Crowley and Aziraphale in the episode where Jon is like "what if we ran away together" in season four. When Jon is like "What if we ran away together, you and me, we could do it, what if we did" and he absolutely knows that Martin is not gonna say yes and maybe he doesn't want Martin to say yes but he wants to ask him anyway, he wants to try it anyway, because the fantasy of escape, together, is overpowering. anyway don't think I didn't think about Crowley

also laughed and laughed at the like four episodes at the end where Jon is like "maybe I should . . . . . . . . . . . become the Torment Nexus? From the classic scifi novel, Don't Become the Torment Nexus?" and first Martin and then everyone else is like "Jon, don't become the Torment Nexus" and it's really clear that you should not become the Torment Nexus but then later Jon says fuck it and becomes the Torment Nexus

I say it's really clear but the idea that you should strand and isolate and burn out the powers is not a bad one. I did like that the second to last episode was just a debate on morality with no clear resolution. that's a lovely way to send off your characters. tho it didn't matter a lot to the end plot? but still.

Jon "I think I'll just become the Torment Nexus" Simms, istg

THE TORMENT NEXUS

Sue Simms' voice is incredibly hot, Gertrude Robinson is absolutely deadass smokin, love how the Legend of Gertrude just built up over the seasons until by the end she was this like powerful callous avenging angel, no notes, might build a shrine in the woods with pictures of Gertrude in little jars

Gerry and Jurgen were both madly in love with her and she didn't notice or care because she was too busy kicking ass, no notes AT ALL

I really like the bit at the beginning of S5 where Jon is depression-listening to old archives tapes, like it's really effective to do the birthday party flashback just there when the world's just been apocalypsed, but I can't stop thinking about how Jon is listening to that tape and, in retrospect, being like "did Elias/Jonah use his all-powerful knowledge and vision to find out that there was cake in the office?" idk it really feels like Elias's motives in that flashback are like "eat cake" and no one else realizes that he's used his monstrous evil eye power to locate cake. anyway I imagine that Jon had all of these thoughts during his depression

Basira made me laugh ALL THE TIME, the voice acting was so good and she was so over everyone's shit. but at the same time there's this real softness to her at the end of S5 after she's killed Daisy, like she's still tough and grounded in her own perspective but suddenly more compassionate or sympathetic. she has such a good journey over the show

were Basira and Daisy a thing? I could not tell. maybe I should not ask. maybe I am not meant to know. maybe even asking shows how little I know, because their intense and murderous bond exceeds traditional relationship categories

I had a really nice time!!!

I will need to read fanfictions

I will need to watch animatics

I will need to seek out fanarts

the end