#So I had to manually try to make it match the other.

[pureanonofficial]

LES MIS LETTERS IN ADAPTATION - One Should Always Begin by Arresting the Victims, LM 3.8.21 (Les Miserables 1972)

Thénardier took the pistol and aimed at Javert. Javert, who was only three paces from him, stared intently at him and contented himself with saying:— “Come now, don’t fire. You’ll miss fire.” Thénardier pulled the trigger. The pistol missed fire. “Didn’t I tell you so!” ejaculated Javert.

[xitsensunmoon]

My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)

The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!

Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.

The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)

Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c

As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!

And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.

I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.

Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)

[endereies]

FEEL BETTER YET? - MS

No Nut November - Day 7

NNN Masterlist...

-➤ When you are on your period, Matt is always there to look after you

Every month you endured pain like no other, your abdomen puncturing you from the inside out. It was only 3am but it felt like you had been up for hours, tossing and turning to find any relief. Painkillers failed to aid you and if you moved too much, spurts of nausea floated around your body.

The one thing you were concerned about was not staining your boyfriend’s sheets underneath you. You had already changed a few times in the night, at that point it was better to stay there. The entirety of your body was pushed against the radiator, locating any lingering warmth you could without having to manually do it yourself.

It was agonising, the fact this had to happen at all to you made emotions sky rocket. The trembles of your body matched the way your breathing shuddered when your stomach clenched.

Just as another tear fell, the light above you flickered on.

“Baby? Fuck…are you okay?” Matt was by your side in an instant, his touch giving you the warm you desperately were trying to clutch onto. He was quietly analysing you and the scene in front of him as his concern increased. Each time you wanted to speak smoothly, the sharp pains constructed you. It just made you whimper in pain and it broke Matt’s heart.

He was used to you having rough periods, but this was on another level. You couldn't breathe. You couldn’t think clearly, your mind fogged with the sheer agony within.

“Why aren’t you in bed baby, you could’ve woken me…you know that…” His tone was gentle and made you sob a few more tears before any words left.

“I- I didn’t want to bloody your sheets..or uh bother you…” You looked away once you saw his face twist into one almost filled with guilt. Independency was idolised by you, he saw it in everything you did. But he wanted to take care of you, this was the small sliver he had and he was going to use that.

“I’ll be back, okay? Just two seconds my love.” Just as quickly as he spoke, he left. The light above remained on, a signal he was still there. Rustling was heard in the distance but once the pain surged it was hard to focus on. Everything was too much. Towels bunched up around you, trying to protect you from the pain, no matter how much it didn’t work.

The sharp pains in your stomach had only gotten worse, even after medication. Every time that Matt crossed your mind it only made you feel so needy, clingy. Like a burden.

Matt returned quickly with his hands full on certain products you couldn’t quite make out. “So first off, I got the chocolates from the fridge I saved for you, and some of those sweets you like to chew…” The packets were held up as he showed them off to you. “I got some of the stronger medications for if you needed to top off with them, uh, I grabbed your socks too and just made a hot water bottle for you. I know last time was a little too hot, so I put some cold water into it as well. “

His gaze finally met your eyes, staring at the pile with tears forming. It was obvious you weren't blinking so that you didn't cry. You knew if you had tried to speak, your emotions would quickly be revealed, if they weren't already by your expression. Your lips switched into a small smile, full of gratitude towards him.

“I- Thank you…really”

“Anytime, I mean that. I just want to be here for you, no matter what.” You let out a small chuckle, allowing yourself to finally give into his efforts to take care of you, you needed it in the moment. Not that you’d admit that to him. He quickly placed the items on your his bed before returning to your side.

One arm reached under your knees while the other supported your back as he pulled you to his chest. It was warm and it was safe. You almost forgot about the pain. Almost.

He lowered you onto the mattress on your side of the bed before handing you the hot water bottle, along side your medication and a drink. He wanted to look after you, not overwhelm you. Matt pulled back from you, climbing under the duvet alongside you.

“I don’t want you to worry about the sheets or bothering me, just worry about yourself. You’re my priority and I never wanting you to think that ill ignore your pain. Never ever will I do that to you sweetheart.” His voice was barely heard over my breathing and a part of you wanted to ignore it, you couldn’t.

Subconsciously your body drew close towards him, the heat of the bottle inching closer to his skin until your head lay on his shoulder. “Feel better yet?” You nodded slightly. The pain had subsided, the bottle and his words warming the aches away.

“I love you, you know that right?” A soft smile covered his lips, placing a light kiss on your head.

“I love you too..”

This was what you needed.

@melliflws @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerrss @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris @colorthecosmos444 @anabethinking @zay-sturns @anyaa2s @emilyfaith2003 @jassturn @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @sturniolosiphone @ribread03

© ENDEREIES 2024

[cosmosis]

MOVED TO @seratopia

miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - surprise visit modern au!

an unfamiliar secretary won’t let you into the building to visit your husband, Miguel, at his office

Visiting your husband at work may as well be the best way for you to spend your day off. He’s been working hard, his passion truly bursting at the seams when he talks to you about the latest improvement project he’s been working on for the past three weeks. 

You’re walking down the sidewalk in an outfit you knew would make Miguel go crazy, holding a nice bouquet of flowers in your arm. You decided men don’t get flowers enough, so you’re here to fill in that gap. He really deserves more than flowers anyway. 

With the badge embedded into your watch, you scan your wrist against the access monitor on the wall. The doors automatically open, and you feel a nice gust of air conditioning run into you. 

The office is very modern, clean, and sleek. All around you are advanced units of technology; a result of your husband’s successes. It smells the same it always has; clean, crisp, and slightly minty. As you walk through the doors, you’re greeted with the exact same things you always are; same lounge chairs, same grand elevator... 

Though, you don’t recognize the secretary at the desk. 

She’s blonde, red lipstick smeared onto her tight lips in an unwelcoming frown. A matching pearl set adorned over her crisp, dark blue blazer. 

Usually, you’d say hi to the secretary you knew, Lyla. You assume she got fired, which was a real shame, you love her sass. She was always so kind to you, saying hi with a smile, or offering to help guide you through the office and such. 

But instead, you walk right past the desk, digging through your memories to find how you managed to find Miguel’s main office last time. 

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?“

Her voice is just as snarky as you had imagined. 

“Visiting Miguel?“ You pause, your patience already growing extremely thin for the new secretary. You’d probably chat about this to Miguel later, maybe bat an eyelash or two to convince him about hiring someone different. 

“Nuh uh! Miguel O’Hara is busy right now, not open for any visitors at the moment.“ She replies, fixating her eyes on the large monitor in front of her. 

You pause for a moment, critically thinking things through for a moment. 

“Oh! I get it. M’am, you haven’t met me before, have you?“ You ask, trying your best to not crinkle the flowers in your hands. She raises a single eyebrow, glaring as if you insulted her mother. (Which, you might as well should do.)

“I’m Miguel’s spouse. He lets me visit him whenever, I even have my badge right here-“

She holds up a single manicured finger. 

“Nice try, but my charts right here say that Miguel is busy at the moment. Try another time, maybe send him a fan letter or something.“

Your blood starts to boil as the new secretary has a satisfied smirk on her face. 

Instead of choosing violence and risking your hair getting ruined, you opt for the better option. Glaring at the desk manager directly in the eye, you pull out your cellphone from your pocket, manually pressing the contact button for Miguel. You wait for the phone to dial, pressing the cellular to your ear whilst examining your own nails. 

And finally, he answers. 

“Hm? You need something, honey?“

“Miguel.“

Miguel on the other line, freezes to a halt. Now, he knows he’s in trouble. Carefully, he clears his throat. 

“What is it, sweetie?“

You take a deep breath. “Your... secretary isn’t letting me into the office. Will you fix that, please?”

Miguel pinches between his eyebrows, groaning. 

“Of course, hun. I’ll be down in a sec.“

“Thank you, Miguel.“

The call ends, but the secretary still stares at you like you’ve thrown up all over her salad. She almost looks like she’s going to laugh, which makes you even madder. 

Within literally a few seconds, the elevator whirs to a halt, the top light switching on with a chime. As expected, your husband walks through the sliding doors, clad in a crisp white dress shirt and office pants. He’s so undeniably gorgeous, you almost consider forgiving the secretary. 

But, you don’t. 

“Ah, Miguel, this p-“

“Shut your mouth for moment, would you?“

The woman is taken aback, red bursting onto her cheeks as her fake smile melts into a frown. Her mouth is left agape, watching as Miguel saunters over to you with a smile. 

“What happened?“ Miguel asks, his Office Face™ dissolving into a genuine smile. He slots his hands to your waist, silently peering at the flowers in your arms. 

“Well, I was going to come surprise you... but then she said that you were busy.” You reply, pouting. 

“Aww, baby, it’s okay.“ He smooches the top of your head. “The flowers are pretty. I’ll handle this.“

Miguel then swerves around, this time with his Office Face™ on. He keeps his hand glued to your side, each step of his getting louder and louder as he makes his way towards the desk. 

“Tiffany.“

Tiffany, in question, shudders, keeping her eyes glued to the floor while a shit-eating smirk finds its’ way onto your face. No remorse whatsoever. 

“From now, until tonight, please let my partner into the building whenever they like.“

“Yes, sir. Why until tonight?“ 

“Because I’m firing you from any future stand-in’s, or any sort of work in here for the matter.“

Miguel: 1 Tiffany: 0

Tiffany looks like she has so much she wants to say, so much that she could scream at this very moment... but instead, she stays silent. You can see a vein practically ready to burst at her temple, her jaw grinding her teeth in her mouth. 

“I will dismiss you at the end of the day, Tiffany. I expect you to cause no more trouble until then.“

Tiffany is left utterly speechless, her jaw left slightly agape. Miguel ushers you by your back towards the elevator, poking and prodding his finger at the flowers in your grasp. 

Automatically, the elevator doors smoothly slide open, and you both step inside. You stare at the glass view outside, watching as the two of you get higher and higher above the city.

“I even had my badge, and she didn’t let me.“ You frown, indulgently leaning into Miguel’s chest. 

“I’m sorry, hun. Lyla’s out sick for a bit, so she was the only substitute I could find for today.“

Apologetically, he rubs your back, secretly praying that you’d forget about the whole ordeal so you’d pay attention to him instead. 

“S’okay. Thank god Lyla wasn’t fired.“ You mumble, breathing a sigh of relief. 

“She’s annoying, but she does her job well.“ Miguel remarks, and you gasp, personally offended on behalf of your beloved Lyla. 

“No she’s not! She’s super nice, actually.“

“Whatever.” Miguel scoffs. “Kiss me.”

“No. You called Lyla annoying.” 

these oneshots have really skyrocketed my account! thank you guys so much for the positive feedback, i love loveee reading all the comments i get! please stay tuned for more!

- cosmosis <333

© 𝒄𝒐𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔.

[oct0bra1ns]

knockout!

Synopsis: So what if the referee was his obsession Pairing: Yandere boxer x referee reader Tw: manipulation, mentions of bringing harm to others, yanderes , breaking bones notes:  i read a 13 pages manual for this, appreciate me pls, also imma make my masterlist soon >.> reblogs and comments are appreciated!

Yandere boxer! Who was your friend and gave you the idea for applying to the job, sure it’s an underground ring but hey, money’s money and he assured you it wasn’t that bad.

Yandere boxer! Who gives you a smirk the first time he sees you in uniform, sure it looked horrible on everyone else but it looked good on you. He leaves you alone before the match, his relationship with you was only between the two of you.

Yandere boxer! Who keeps you in his room, asking you stupid questions just to take up your time, i mean, why should his opponent spend any time with you.

Yandere boxer! Who can’t help but make you flustered when you check over his gear, especially with how delicate your hands are when you remove his piercings, scolding him for being stupid enough to leave it on.

Yandere boxer! Who’s a completely different person when he steps into the ring, he goes from being your friend to being one of the most respected boxers in the place, someone who was known for being ruthless.

Yandere boxer! Who can’t help but have a look of pride and also amusement when you try to enforce the rules, challenging people who were basically criminals. A bit silly but he doesn’t mind.

Yandere boxer! Who completely ruined his opponent’s life and limbs after they had the nerve to lay their hands on you, accusing you for foul play. This was an underground sport, what did the pest expect?

Yandere boxer! Who checks over you, making sure you weren’t badly injured after the match and making sure to patch any injuries you had.

Yandere boxer!who never loses in his official matches but comes home battered and bruised just so you can take care of him.

Yandere boxer! Who stops caring about the rules and walks around with you before the match, making sure no one touches you.

Yandere boxer! Who broke his boss’s hand when he tried to get you away from him, no matter what you were staying.

Yandere boxer!was a force to be reckoned with in the hidden fight clubs, but it was the you who held your heart outside of the brutal confines of the makeshift rings

[tradgedyinwaves]

Touch - Ch. 3

Poly!141 x chunky!reader tw: Just a tad smutty, more like an idea of smut rather than the stuff itself. 

Two Weeks Later. Friday.

You stood outside under an awning, waiting for the bus to show up as you texted away on your phone. A soft smile had plastered itself to your face the longer you texted with the big Scot, but one thing you’d noticed is that he was always mentioning the other members of his team, not that he’d told you what they do.

“John is a pro at fixing up cars, never seen a car he couldn’t fix.” “Lordie, this pasta is good. Gaz is always making amazing food.” “Remind me not to bet against Simon again. Lost all of my money on that rugby match last night.” 

He never referred to Simon by his callsign, not wanting to give you any reason to recognize or connect the dots. Eventually, they’d each come to you, injecting themselves into your life one by one. You’d told Johnny that your car had broken down a few days ago, complaining that the bus was always late and it never had any open seats, but you didn’t have the money to get it fixed. He’d offered for John to come take a look, but you’d insisted it was fine. Except it wasn’t. After a week of bus rides, you were ready to take him up on the offer. 

🪻: Hey Johnny? Would your friend be able to take a look at my car? I can’t bear the bus anymore. 🧼: Of course. We can come tonight once you’re off work? 🪻: oh thank you so much! You guys are truly the best. 🧼: Anything for you, Petal.

You blushed at his message, stepping onto the bus in much better spirits than before.

A few hours later, there was a knock at your door and you jumped at the sound, getting up from the couch to open it and smiling shyly as Johnny’s face came into view. You hadn’t seen him in person since that day in the flower shop, exchanging pictures over the last two weeks, but nothing else. His scruff was freshly trimmed, bright eyes shining at you, but it wasn’t him that made your eyes bug. It was the man standing just behind and slightly to the left of him, wide frame blocking light from the hallway.

“Aye, this is Price,” Johnny’s thick accent sounded jovial as you stepped back, opening the door for these two men. Oh, Magda was going to have a heyday when you told her about this. “You can call me John if you like, little bird,” the older man stated, passing through the door to stand next to it. You stammered a bit before shaking your head and introducing yourself, closing the door softly. “I’m sorry, I thought you were gonna take a bit longer. I’ll go change and then take you guys down to my car,” you offered, giving them small smiles as they nodded to you before disappearing into your bedroom. You took a moment to lean against the door, fighting with your thundering heart rate as you closed your eyes and leaned your head back. Clearing your head, you moved from the door to change into some jeans and a simple shirt, tossing the shorts you’d been wearing into the corner.

While you were changing, the two men were having an almost silent conversation in your living room. “Cap, did you see-?” Johnny’s eyes met Price’s who only gave him a hard stare and the slightest nod. Between the pretty color on your cheeks and those damn shorts, both men were having their control tested. And you only served to make it worse, coming out in jeans that hugged your hips and ass in a way that left nothing to the imagination. They were just as bad as the shorts.

“Ready?” you asked, trying to stay chipper as to not betray your rapid heart beat or the way your voice wavered on the word. “Lead the way, Petal.” Johnny gave you one of his lopsided smiles and you had to switch to manual breathing.

A few minutes later, you were down on the street with them, rambling on about what you thought the problem could be. “It’s possible it’s the alternator, but it could also be the battery. I’m honestly not sure at this point. It was a hunk of junk when I bought it,” you babbled out, forcing yourself to stop after a few moments of long-winded speech and the soft looks the two men were giving you.

John had himself under the vehicle in minutes, thankful that his line of sight to you was blocked. You were unknowingly challenging both of them with your thick waist and that pretty look you got in your eyes when you were looking at either of them. He wasn’t even sure how Johnny was coping, standing that close to you.

But Johnny wasn’t coping. If you looked away for even a moment during your conversation, he was readjusting himself to make his obvious arousal even the tiniest amount less obvious. You’d caught him once but didn’t say anything, turning to watch John under your car while you struggled to hide the blush that covered your cheeks. Sometimes, you were grateful you were a girl, though your squeezing thighs weren’t as subtle as you thought they were and Johnny had to clear his throat to hide the groan that threatened to spill forward.

Finally, John was sliding out from under the car and standing before you, covered in grease and wiping his hands on a towel. Suffice it to say, if you’d been a man, your desire for them would have been just as apparent as theirs. With a soft grunt, John was directing you to try to start it, making you jump to action. Darting over to the driver’s seat, you slid the key in and almost cried when it started. You hopped back out, running over to John to wrap your arms around his middle, thanking him profusely for fixing it and how could you ever repay him.

“Let me take you out, little bird.” 

Your eyes widened while your arms released the huge man, flipping between Johnny and Price, eyes filled with confusion when the former gave you a soft smile and a nod. You’d thought Johnny would ask you at some point, but you supposed that he hadn’t in two weeks, so why would he now? Chewing the inside of your lip, you nodded. “I’d love to,” you replied while your cheeks turned a bit pink and you could have sworn you saw them share a look over your head. “We’d best be going. I’ll pick you up tomorrow, 8pm,” John stated, a warm smile on his face as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head before moving to clean up his tools. Johnny joined you and you looked up at him with the same confusion, though you couldn’t bring yourself to voice it. He just gazed down at you with those pretty blues, a soft smile on his lips that looked a little more like a smirk than anything else. “Don’t look at me like that, Petal,” Johnny whispered to you as Price started to move his tools to his truck, hugging you tightly before walking away to get into the truck. “See ya soon, pretty bird.” 

Hours later, laying in bed, you reflected on your evening. You’d been touched more in the last few hours than you had in years and it made your mind a little hazy. If it wasn’t Johnny’s hand on your lower back as the three of you trekked down the stairs, it was Price’s arm slung over your shoulders as you explained what happened when your infernal car died. From there it was Johnny’s small touches like brushing your hair back and then finally Price’s kiss to the top of your head that had your body feeling like they’d set little fires down everywhere they touched. 

There was a foreign feeling inside when you laid down that night. The ache between your thighs and the simmering flames they’d left behind creating a buzzing in your ears that you just couldn’t shake no matter how much chamomile tea you’d drank or how many breathing exercises you did. So finally, you did something you hadn’t even thought of in months. Sliding your fingers under the shorts you’d slipped back on when they left, you let out a soft moan as your fingers found the throbbing bundle of nerves and rubbed quick, precise circles on it. Your brain conjured some filthy images of the two hulking men taking you however they saw fit, not that you’d ever admit it. 

I hope you guys are enjoying this and thank you so much for the support! I promise I'm not forgetting Gaz and Ghost. It's just not their time yet. They'll get their shot, pink promise.

[sirfrogsworth]

When I got to this photo in Katrina's collection of vintage family imagery, I was pretty stumped as to how to approach it.

There is a major problem when you zoom in to 100%.

The paper it was developed on has little micro bumps. When it was scanned, the light from the scanner caused a highlight on one side of the bump and a shadow on the other. This causes a pattern which is nearly impossible to eliminate using traditional techniques.

The easiest way to fix this is actually quite clever. You scan it once, then turn it upside down and scan it again. The second pass reverses the side the highlight and shadow appear on, so you can combine the images in Photoshop and blend them together, essentially canceling out the bumps. It's weirdly analogous to noise canceling headphones.

But I don't have access to the physical copy of this image.

So... now what?

Enter Fast Fourier Transform or FFT.

This is a filter that uses extra fancy math to recognize patterns in the image and eliminate them. There is a pretty good filter for Photoshop, but it does not work easily with newer Macs with Apple Silicon. I really did not want to figure that out, and I also was too tired to go downstairs to my PC. However, I learned that a Photoshop competitor, Affinity Photo, has this filter built in. So, I downloaded a trial copy and started the process of trying to figure out how to fix this image.

It was amazingly simple. It brings up these star patterns and you just paint black circles over every one but the center. It literally felt like magic. (Full screen with sound recommended)

So once I did this process I ended up with this...

The paper still had a rough texture but it was much easier to work with using traditional techniques. I started with a black and white conversion and meticulously went through the photo zapping scratches and flaws and balancing tones and sharpening facial features. All of my photo restoration tricks were needed.

I eventually landed here...

I then thought maybe I should match the sepia tone of the original print, so I got to here...

I think the black and white looks nicer in this instance, but I always like having options and this is the most faithful representation of how the photo originally looked.

But there is something else I have been playing around with lately. Photoshop has these experimental neural filters that use cloud processing to do various tricky enhancements. Most of them are in beta and they can be very quirky. But they have a colorizer that tries to detect people and things and adds color to them. Not every black and white photo is a good candidate. I have found these professional portrait photos work decently, but the filter is very hit-and-miss. And there are tools within the filter to help you make a miss more of a hit, but often I have to accept the photo isn't going to work.

But I decided to give it a shot with this one and surprisingly, the colorizer got me most of the way there.

I can work with that.

The one thing it does well is skin. Manually painting color onto skin is tricky and requires more skill and knowledge of traditional painting techniques than I have. But if a filter can do that part for me, I can do the rest.

So after my touchups, I got the image to here.

All I have left to do is my standard color enhancements to make them a little less ghostly and a little more human.

And I present to you where I started and the finished product. I encourage you to flip back and forth.

I'm not sure how, but I was able to go from an image I thought was impossible to edit to a beautiful colorized memory for my best friend's mom. I cannot wait to show her.

[inbabylontheywept]

Following back on the recent fusionposting to run a very technically unqualified intuition I have by you

When talking about baseload power generation, the conversation inevitably turns to nuclear, with a common narrative that certain countries are irrationally afraid of nuclear for not copying the successful policies of their neighbours (usually it's about Germany or Austria needing to emulate France)

What I've wanted to run by you is this viewpoint I've had for a while - that the economics of nuclear power are different from other sources, and that that may better explain the choices of policymakers:

The procurement of nuclear power seems much closer to military procurement in my eyes, with costs stemming from the management of standards, supply chains being inflexible and project/nation-dependent, and the costs of maintaining regional expertise overshadowing the costs that build physical capital.

Can you confirm/disconfirm any of these impressions?

I'm only slightly more qualified than you, unfortunately. I haven't work in the nuclear power sector. I have coworkers that have, and their stories do seem to check out with your descriptions.

Like, in a military style contract, parts might cost 4 times as much as a civilian part, because the military tests the parts much, much more stringently. You don't test the screws at home depot to make sure they match the metal composition, or that their sheer strength matches X, or on and on. You have a baseline level of trust that comes from market forces. But military supplies don't have market forces to work with - there isn't exactly a market for, say, F-35s. So they have to try and catch this manually instead of via crowdsourcing, and the results are painful.

That's military procurement, and I work with that enough to know why it exists. Even if it hurts.

Now, that sound very similar to nuclear power, which also analyzes everything to the T because the cost of failure is so ridiculously high. The coworker I mentioned before that worked for reactor said her first year learn-the-ropes project was doing a report on the safety consequences of swapping the lights from fluorescent to LED in the main office buildings. It was a 200+ page thing going over how the new lights would affect the backup power duration stats, hazards of the new lights vs the old ones (LEDs are less tolereant of undervoltage than fluorescents), things like that. I would imagine that in that case, they probably spent at least 4 or 5 times as much analyzing the impact of the lighting than they actually spent on the lighting.

This drives efficiency oriented people kind of crazy, but the whole point of these systems is not to be efficient. It is to be extremely resistant to failure. Ludicrously, insanely, painfully resistant. Because in the military case, a bad batch of bolts normally worth $40 could make a $35 million plane crash, and in the nuclear case, a meltdown could literally cause trillions of dollars of damage. The Fukushima meltdown is estimated to have caused $200 billion worth of damage, and it was not even close to a worst case scenario.

Anyway, I'm rambling a little, but your intuition seems good to me. I love nuclear power, but people suggesting that we "slash all the red tape around it" scare the shit out of me. They have no idea what they're fucking with, and if we're all very, very lucky, they never will.

[severedfromthesource]

Weightless

No gravity and no heartbeat. M rescuer, M resus, suffocation, chest compressions, AED

Cohl fumbled to grab the straps on Yui’s suit. They were just out of reach. His body kicked like he was swimming, but he knew he was doing nothing but expending energy. They both tilted weightless through the station as debris floated between them. He couldn’t get enough leverage to reach him as his internal systems sounded an alarm, the visor of his helmet blinking red with warning. One of his life support systems was failing. Cheap fucking equipment, he spit internally. They’d scavved both suits from a small military post that had been pelted apart by a meteorite swarm. Both men figured the military would have half decent space suits. They were wrong.

Yui weakly clapped against his chest and throat, his body convulsing in the air with the overwhelming need to breathe. He could only stare helpless at the two red goose eggs on his HUD. Oxygen reserves: 0.0 percent. He looked to Cohl in a panic. The other man was trying to push himself closer in suspension, but he was moving so slowly, and there was nothing to help him gain leverage. Yui would pass out before he reached him. And even if he did, what then? The romantic idea that he would share his oxygen reserves was sweet, and more or less keeping with Cohl’s chivalrous swashbuckler persona. But if he stopped breathing, flooding his helmet with oxygen wouldn’t do much. His lungs would stop working before Cohl made it over, he was almost sure of that. Already blackness crept in around the edge of his vision and Cohl’s stricken expression and his useless wading through empty space were growing darker.

“Yui, don’t pass out,” he shouted over the comms. The jerky movements were getting fewer and farther between. Cohl was beginning to panic himself. His own helmet was throwing out warnings to slow his breathing, but he couldn’t. He racked his brain for some solution. He couldn’t just keep floating like a jackass and watch him asphyxiate. He scrambled to pull up his remote ship controls. He could see their vessel through the huge windows circling around the abandoned station, haloed by a distant sun. The cockpit was empty, he’d told the ship to hover and wait for their return while they harpooned the station and reeled themselves in. Now he woke its systems, and began manually operating it. He swiped at the controls and urged the little ship to ram the nearest support pillar braced against the outside of the station. Their Hawk was hardly a match for the size of the huge spinning top they found themselves aboard, but maybe. Maybe it could make a difference. Otherwise… he didn’t want to think of otherwise.

The station groaned as the Hawk rammed against it and the room they found themselves in lurched. Cohl found himself being shoved to the side and smashed his ribs against a wall that rushed up to him, but finally, solid ground. He looked up to see Yui poised above him, and his heart lurched when he saw he had stopped fighting. His hands weakly flexed against the seal of his helm. “No, no, hold on,” he murmured under his breath, voice distorted by his helm.

Yui watched Cohl maneuver his legs underneath himself and kick out like a gold medal swimmer in the 100 meter. His lungs wouldn’t fill. His throat worked and his brain urged him to breathe, but there was nothing left. The last shallow pull of stale carbon dioxide made it down his throat and then nothing. His lashes fluttered. Pins and needles prickled in his limbs. Through hooded eyes he watched Cohl shoot towards him, dimly aware that he had tackled him and now grappled him around the waist.

“Got you,” he heard his voice exclaim over comms, though his mind was going dim, and he was starting to hear less and less. “Pretty sure I snapped off the Hawk’s beak, don’t be mad.” Arms encircled him as Cohl, his captain, his plucky rogue who earned every story about himself, shifted him so Yui’s back pressed against his front.

He kept him pinned there as he fumbled to disconnect Yui’s useless oxygen system. “You really made me look like an idiot back there, treading water like that,” he laughed shakily, unclipping one of his own oxygen tubes from his suit. It hissed and sputtered little clouds in the dark station and he attached it to the other valve, tightening it. He heard the click and then the hum as Yui’s suit once more flooded with air. He cupped his hand over his chest. “There we go, good as new.”

But Yui didn’t respond. His arms hung limply in the absence of gravity, his head rocked forward. Cohl felt his skin tighten in goosebumps. “Yui,” he said with some urgency, rapping a finger against his helmet, “Breathe in, bud. Come on, take a breath.” The terminal on his wrist blinked and he snatched his arm, lifting it to see what other god damn warning his suit was issuing this time.

CRITICAL CONDITION- RESPIRATORY ARREST DETECTED

He grabbed the collar of Yui’s helmet and turned it towards himself, urgently thumping his sternum with his palm. He called his name again and again, clutching at the second skin material of his suit as he turned to face him. He didn’t respond. Behind the glass, his face was slack, his eyes closed and mouth slightly agape. Blue was creeping into his lips. Cohl fumbled with his limp body as they tilted in the air. The stupid thing was supposed to have a failsafe for this, but it wasn’t triggering. He swore as he punched in the controls on the wrist terminal and the helm slid open. The light of the distant sun shone on Yui’s pale face. He probed his hand in around the edges of the helmet until he found the little nozzle tucked away to the side. He grabbed it, hooking a thumb over the bottom row of his second in command’s teeth and tongue with his other hand. He plunged the rebreather into his mouth and it latched, making a seal in his airway. Cohl once more wrapped his arm around the smaller man’s chest and felt his ribs flex as the thing breathed for him.

He looked at the readout again as his oxygen levels began to climb back up slowly. Too slowly. The fluttering little line of his heartbeat was quivering, hardly making spikes. Cohl closed his helmet again and wrapped both arms around him, braced against his midriff and across his chest. “Yui,” he pleaded again and shook him once, hard enough his helmet clinked off Cohl’s own. He made a fist and scrubbed his knuckles hard against his sternum, between the lithe muscles of his pectoral. The mechanical breathing swelled against his hand as the rebreather filled his lungs with the oxygen provided by Cohl’s life support systems. It forced his chest to expand and he heard a sigh crackling over their comms, expelling each breath given to him, his chest deflating in Cohl’s hands.

The terminal chimed and threw up holographic words. CRITICAL CONDITION- VENTRICULAR FIBRILLATION DETECTED. He knew it to be true. His heart was quivering into Cohl’s palm, shaking and uncoordinated, too fast to properly push blood through his body. He felt the nervous bird flitting against the cage of his ribs. He cursed softly and gripped him by the shoulder, spinning Yui around. There were four circular ports, two over the right side of the heart, near the shoulder, and two tucked up beside his ribs on the opposite side. He flipped the little latch beside these ports and the suit sucked closer to the skin, pressing itself especially firm in these spots. He watched as the little ports began to hum and glow brighter and brighter in the center of their circular, metal frames.

“Automatic external defibrillator engaged,” came a robotic voice from the terminal, “Select charge.”

If these things were worth anything, let them be worth this. Cohl tapped the 200j option blinking at Yui’s wrist. “Charging,” said the voice, the device whining. Yui’s muscles convulsed. Cohl had to grip him tightly by the arm to keep him from drifting away as the defibrillator discharged into his fluttering heart, making his whole body jolt. His head snapped back, his shoulders shrugging, back crooking. “Shock delivered. Analyzing rhythm, stand clear of patient.”

“Not gonna happen,” he murmured to himself, cupping the other man’s helmet to tip his head back towards himself. He only just looked over at the projected monitor when the voice piped up, “No pulse detected. Begin CPR.”

A flatline cut through the darkness of the lonely station. “No, you’re kidding me,” he hissed, cupping a hand over the center of his breast. Nothing. Weren’t these stupid things supposed to fix a fibrillating heart? They weren’t supposed to kill the person, right? His mind spun. CPR. CPR? How the hell was he supposed to do that? He couldn’t put any weight behind the compressions, definitely not enough to shove his heart against his spine. He gripped his shoulder with one hand and shoved the heel of his palm against his heart. He only succeeded in nearly shoving his body away from him entirely. He looped an arm around his shoulders and tried again; again, there was no way to get enough leverage for an effective compression. His eyes roved over Yui from head to toe, then their surroundings.

“Hang on,” he huffed, resituating himself behind him again. He slid both arms around him from behind, bracing a balled fist against his unbeating heart. Settling his chin against his shoulder, he thrust in against his ribcage, forcing it to bow in towards his spine. He’d never had to actually use the scarce first aid lessons he’d been forced to sit through, ironically at Yui’s insistence.

Something told him this was harder than normal compressions. He couldn’t put his weight behind it, or rely on the ground to help squeeze blood from his motionless heart. It relied entirely on the strength in his arms; those felt like they were ready to fall off with how hard his own pulse thundered through his limbs. He kept it up anyway. Yui’s ribcage shifted under his skin, bowing with each hard thrust and expanding with each breath. “C’mon,” Cohl grunted, “We’ve been through worse than this, huh? Huh? You’re gonna let-hngh- this shitty station- ungh- be where you die? Cause of a dumb suit malfunction?”

Again, Yui’s heart began to quiver in his chest, shaking the space between his ribs. “Shock advised. Stand clear of patient.” “Yeah, no, I’m good here.” Again, the ports whined and began to glow. The display showed the shaky line of his heart struggling to beat, beneath that the line marking the device as it charged to 250. Cohl instinctively wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace. His breath was noisy in his helmet. “Come on, come on, come on…”

Yui’s body bucked, knocking against Cohl’s chest as his limbs seized in the current. His muscles tensed and loosened, his helmet clanging hard off Cohl’s own. “Shock delivered-“ “I know the stupid thing delivered the stupid shock,” he growled, pressing his palm flat against Yui’s heart. “Is he alive or dead?” “No pulse detected. Begin CPR.” “Fucking hell-“

He started the compressions anew, harder this time, if he could even do them any harder. He beat his second in against his chest, sweat tickling his brow and neck. His entire focus, his entire being, was centered on the man dead- not dead, no, he couldn’t be dead. He was destined to die in some awesome, awe inspiring way on a distant planet. Crushed in a salt avalanche, fucked to death by some charismatic mantis alien, shot in a card game with interstellar pirates. This was undeserving of him. This was how rookies died. They weren’t rookies. Cohl and Yui were wanted criminals, their faces graced holo posters in three different systems. Haruki Yui was not suffocating in an abandoned research base. He was not dying while Cohl still had breath.

As he shoved against his sternum, listening to the quiet “Huff, hff, haa, hff” as he forced synthetic air from his still lungs, he wasn’t paying attention to their surroundings. The quiet atrium might as well be a distant star. He didn’t notice the wall the two of them were floating towards until his back bounced off hard metal. Cohl kept bending his battered ribcage and craned his neck to look; his eyes widened. Gravity engine- the OFF button burned red in the dark. Life support systems- OFF.

“Jesus, yes, yes,” he gasped and flicked both switches on at once. The station groaned in protest as ancient motors whirred to life and air began to sigh once more through her vents. Cohl hardly had time to roll in midair and brace Yui in his arms before they were once more leashed by artificial gravity. It sucked them to the ground, slamming them both to the metal grating of a small platform. Something in his side cracked and the air squeezed out of Cohl’s lungs. He soundlessly wheezed, arms in a vice around his second.

His body hurt even worse with gravity weighing him down once more. His arms and legs were jelly. His muscles ached. It took him a moment, and he cursed every second of that moment, to roll Yui’s body off and push himself up on his hands and knees at his side. He tore off both their helmets, drawing in as deep a breath as he could manage. Stale air stuck to the sweat on his skin and he’d never been more grateful for it. “Okay, we can do this. C’mon…”

He descended on Yui’s chest, stacking his hands as he began to pound against creaking bone. At this angle, it was easier to feel the fractures he’d split through his second’s sternum, bone rubbing against bone. His head rocked, each compression causing a tide to roll from his shoulders to his fingertips, his feet. His belly bulged against the tight skin of his suit, snapping up as Cohl snapped down against his heart. Was he too late? Hell, had he even been doing any good before? These compressions felt more violent, going much deeper, and he couldn’t stop the little voice nagging that Yui was gone. Would he already be back if he’d found the damn switch earlier?

His hands sunk into the center of Yui’s heart again and again. He might have been saying something, but he wasn’t even sure. He was getting light headed from the rush of air and exertion. Even so, his entire body jerked as the robotic voice once more spoke, “Shock advised. Stand clear of patient.”

This time, despite how badly he wanted to just scoop him up into his arms, he sat back, staring down at his second’s moon white face. The suit’s oxygen system forced his chest to rise at regular intervals, even if the breath left his lungs, unable to stick.

“Charging,” it announced. The display flashed 360j. It emitted a few rapid beeps as it reached the end of its charge. Yui’s chest was pulled into into the air with a sharp jerk, his head snapping to the side, arms convulsing from the shoulder and then falling limp again. “Shock delivered. Analyzing-“

Yui’s throat came unstoppered and he drew in a rattling breath, loosing a moaning exhale. Cohl was at his throat in an instant, hooking his finger between his teeth. He took hold of the rebreather and it slid back, coming loose from his trachea with a wet gurgle.

“There he is,” Cohl almost shouted, cradling his neck, “There we go, deep breaths! Christ alive…”

Yui croaked something that might have been, “Captain.”

Cohl pressed his forehead to the other man’s temple, nose pressed to his cheek, stuck between laughing like a maniac and breaking down in sobs. Instead of doing either he huffed, “This scavver shit isn’t for us.”

[howtofightwrite]

So happy you're back after all this time! I have a question, do you happen to know how people fought in ancient rome? Particularly gladiators and soldiers? Sorry if this isn't the blog for this question tho!

I think we've covered both of these questions independently over the years.

Gladiators were a performance sport. It was more about glorifying the Roman Empire and its victories, than a conventional fight. As a result, most Gladiators were armed with specific variant, “loadouts,” designed to cosplay as various enemies that The Empire had conquered, and they only fought against specific countering variants. Specifically, the variants would be matched in such a way that it would be difficult for either combatant to have a decisive advantage over the other, with an eye towards creating situations that would result in a lot of visible injuries, without serious harm to either participant.

In case it needs to be said, gladiators were a significant financial investment, and they weren't casually killed in the arena. The point was for visible injuries, and a bloody spectacle, not a slaughter. Sometimes someone would die, but having them die on the field wasn't the intention, and they generated a lot of money, and on the rare cases when they were killed, it was meant to be a climactic moment, not someone taking a blade to the gut and collapsing mid-fight.

Obviously, I'm barely scratching the surface here, because it gets a lot deeper, but the simple answer is that in the vast majority of cases, gladiators were armed with weapons that were designed to make seriously harming their foe difficult to impossible. Also, the gladiators were something that evolved and became more complicated over time. When they first started in the Republic, it was a much more stripped down structure with prisoners of war being given a sword and shield and forced to face off against one another.

As for the Roman Legions. I'm not sure I've ever seen a comprehensive description of their training techniques. The Testudo, (or Tortoise) is one of the more famous examples of their specific combat style. Legionaries would create a shield wall, and the soldiers behind the front line would raise their shields to cover the formation against attacks from above (usually arrow fire, or thrown spears.) While being able to strike with javelins. In practice, the formation had issues, including being vulnerable to siege fire, and mounted archers were able to easily flank the formation. It's a neat story, but the formation had serious limitations.

One thing we haven't talked about before (I think) was the Roman's use of biological warfare. During sieges, they would load (locally sourced, I assume) corpses onto catapults, and then launch them into the besieged city.

Beyond, the major thing about the Legions was the extremely disciplined and orderly combat formations, with a lot of attention paid to managing battlefield movement. It wasn't so much about exceptional individual performance, so much as their ability to operate as a unit. This isn't a particularly mind blowing concept today, but in an era when professional soldiers were the exception, or limited to the elite forces, it had slightly more impact.

Regarding the details of their training, I've never seen any of that come up. Now, granted, I've really tried to research that degree of Roman history. So, if you're asking, “how, exactly, did they swing the gladius?” I don't know, and I don't remember ever seeing anyone credibly claim they had that insight. As far as I know, the only surviving Roman training manual was De Re Militari, (there's around 200 surviving Latin copies) which is far more concerned with overall strategic planning and command. If you're trying to write Roman era military fiction, it's probably worth reading. So, I'm not sure this is exactly what you were looking for, but I do hope it helps.

-Starke

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[twistedwonderlandsimps]

Shapeshifter!Yuu

I'm just here to mix-and-match different kinds of Yuus with different kinds of personalities to see what monstrosity I can make. That being said,,, Shapeshifter!Yuu brainrot! 

Basically like Penny from The Amazing World of Gumball after she broke out of her shell (literally) after Gumball confessed to her, but in a bit of an uncanny valley sort of way (at first, that is). 

So anyway, Yuu’s a shapeshifter but when they first arrived in Twisted Wonderland, their presence was basically nonexistent and they almost always blended into the background, if not for Grim who constantly brought attention to them. 

To those who paid attention closely, they could tell there was something weird about Yuu. 

They were almost eldritch-like, in an uncanny valley kind of way, like their body didn’t quite fit them but they were trying to force themselves to fit it even when it couldn’t. 

Especially with the behaviors they exhibited, how their smiles seem a bit too forced and too wide to be considered normal, how often they blink their eyes a little too late, or how their chest slows to a stop as if they forgot how to breathe that people have to literally ask them if they’re still even alive.

They just seemed too much that it was like they were manually controlling every single thing in their body, from their nerves to their heartbeat, just to be seen as normal yet still somehow failing at it. 

Sometimes, Grim has to stay awake at night and watch Yuu because he’s worried of how still and lifeless they look while sleeping, and the fact that their heartbeat slows down a little too much scares him.

But of course this doesn’t last long. 

Being in Twisted Wonderland was too emotionally stimulating for them and it didn’t take long for them to snap.

It first happened with Riddle, when he overblotted. 

Getting insulted and looked down on was the last straw for Yuu. 

They stood in place, a smile frozen on their face as they stared at Riddle. 

Then, the corner of their eyes twitched, their smile straining as their facade slowly broke. 

But no one noticed this, not when everybody was too focused on Ace who was verbally challenging Riddle who was starting to show signs of blotting.

It was delayed, Yuu’s reaction that is. 

From a very young age, they were told that their emotions were both a blessing and a curse. 

That was why they were taught and encouraged by their family to conceal it as best as they could while they were still young. 

Emotions were… complicated, so to say. 

When a child from their family becomes too emotionally stimulated, it would often lead to destruction. 

They were just too unstable and the elders in their family were worried that everyone would see them as monsters if they ever went out of control so they believed that it was for everyone’s best interest if they conceal, don’t feel (lmao, Elsa logic) as per their family’s tradition. 

But of course not every family tradition was exactly the healthiest, and Yuu’s whole family has got to be the most emotionally constipated family there ever was in their world. 

Being sent into an unknown world? Yes, that was scary, but Yuu had to control themselves and they tried their best not to burden others.

When they stood in front of the mirror that told them that their home didn’t exist, their nails sharpened under their robes (a self-defense reaction, unavoidable, really) but at least they stopped themselves right there and didn’t shift into something monstrous. 

When they were left all alone in a rundown dorm, they had to force themselves to not breakdown and cry.

When they were threatened by Leona in the botanical garden, they held their form as normal as it could. 

But they had always been tipping over the edge ever since they arrived in this unknown world. 

Like a glass of water ready to spill or a dam ready to break. 

They just had so many emotions but no idea how to show it.

However, faced with this– this! Being insulted and then getting attacked! 

It was… unforgivable! 

Unforgivableunforgivableunforgivableunforgivableunforgivableunforgivableunforgivableunforgivableunforgivable–!

Well anyway, basically both Riddle and Yuu had a mental breakdown at the same time and everyone got to see Yuu turn into this gargantuan creature and deck the overblot monster, that eerily held a resemblance to the Queen of Hearts, hovering behind Riddle while Trey and the others focused on trying to knock Riddle out.

Once it was over, Yuu seemingly disappeared out of nowhere. 

Except, not really. They were still in the Rose Maze. 

Yuu just turned into this very small, translucent blob that fit perfectly in Deuce’s palm. 

Grim found them on the ground next to this black stone that smelled really delicious. 

“Y-Yuu…? It’s you, right?” Deuce hesitantly asks in a low voice as he stares at Yuu’s small form, careful not to jostle them around too much. “Are you alright? Do you feel okay?”

“Oh no, I broke it…” Yuu doesn’t answer him and wails instead, voice small and squeaky.

“What broke? Are you hurt? Did you break your bones? Do you even have bones when you’re like this?” Ace chimed from Deuce’s side, relentlessly poking Yuu’s wispy form. Yuu just wails even louder.

They weren’t hurt, physically at least. They just felt very sad, guilty, and upset that they broke their promise with their family to not shapeshift. 

But ever since the first time they shapeshifted, it felt as if a huge burden was taken off of their shoulders. They felt… lighter. 

This doesn’t mean that they approved themselves suddenly shifting. 

In fact, they still feel guilty every time they do it due to their upbringing but they’re finding it harder and harder to control. 

It took them some time before they accepted that this part of them was normal, that it was normal to feel this way and they were just shapeshifting according to how they felt and that was fine. 

Sure, there were some lingering feelings, especially fear because Yuu’s scared that what they were doing was wrong, that they were letting their family down.

There are days when they think that breaking free from their family’s teachings felt wonderful, and there are days when they just felt downright awful for not heeding their words.

Afterall, their family constantly taught from a very young age that they weren’t allowed to show their emotions so would it be really easy to get rid of such a teaching when they grew up? 

No, it wasn’t, but at least they’re gradually learning.

For the meantime, Yuu’s very emotionally constipated, more so than the others who lived in Twisted Wonderland.

The first time Yuu met Malleus, they shifted into a rabbit because they got scared by the sounds of footsteps heading towards them in the middle of the night. 

Malleus found this amusing, especially when Yuu shifted back to their normal form to show that they weren’t scared of Malleus.

And then the Diasomnia student proceeded to talk about gargoyles.

Every chapter arc probably has had Yuu shapeshift into a new form. 

Each one is different and unique since there’s a lot of emotions that can mix together and form something new.

Yuu’s shapeshifting abilities aren't limited to what Penny can only transform into. They’re more flexible so there’s a lot of combinations possible they can shapeshift into.

Am I going to make a description of those transformations? Nnnnooo. Maybe some other time. It’s 3 am, it’s honestly surprising how my brain’s even still working at this point.

Anyway, Yuu in their normal human form starts to become less uncanny and more human the more they shapeshift since they’ve become less worried about controlling and maintaining their form so they look normal.

Their movements become more natural and their expressions more lively, so unlike before when they first stepped into Twisted Wonderland.

Also someone telling Yuu: “That’s not what you are. It’s just how you feel.” 

And it’s most probably going to be Grim.

Smh smh, the boys failed to score some extra brownie points from Yuu, too bad for them.

Anyway, time to pass out, lmao.

[steaming-system-takes]

my hot take is that internet system culture absolutely DESTROYS one of the key principles of dissociative identity at its core. hear me out.

disclaimer: not pro endo!

everyone in basically any context would agree that every individual's brain is a highly unique fingerprint and a projection of an uncontrollable consciousness. that being SAID. why are there RULES about how a system can and can't function? i understand that there are diagnostic criteria and trends, but it is so important to understand that this stuff is literally curated by our subconscious minds and is NOT SUBJECT TO CONTROL OR CONFORMITY !

how is it possible that introjects can't exist? you're telling me that my subconscious mind is able to create People out of thin air and force my mind to split itself into pieces but it also follows rules on what the guy's name can be and how he can act and what he looks like? (in tandem with each other of course)

this is my Issue With Internet System Culture. we can all agree that DID is severely under-researched but somehow we also manage to make up these random rules for ourselves.

i have had a very personal experience with this, which is why i feel qualified to talk about it. i spent the first few years of knowing my system on twitter (of all ungodly places) and my system behaved like everyone elses. co-conciousness, small numbers, lots of labels, super rigid roles, introjects dont deviate from source, solid switching, etc etc.

once i got off of twitter and just started hanging out on my own, my system's behavior changed DRAMATICALLY.

The Stuff You Feed Your Subconscious Mind Will Impact How It Treats Your System.

once i stopped letting the influence of system Rules and what can and can't happen, my system digressed into a more logical (but less rigid) process. roles spread out, the front room held a different function, switches felt different, even fronting was almost a different experience. and it was SO MUCH EASIER. i haven't felt like i was faking in over a year. i haven't worried about splitting in so long.

systems, with all the love and respect on this planet and in my heart, if you feel like you're faking, delete the app. unfollow the tag. your brain is a fingerprint, stop trying to match it to anyone else's . your system functions in a unique and curated way in order to protect you in your childhood. there was no manual when your trauma happened. i love you 🫶

^

[twwings]

so I spent the last few months just marathoning The Magnus Archives??? I was curious and I have a long-ish commute that I need to fill with audio, so I went for it. I was somewhat spoiled by fanart I saw randomly over the years but not entirely spoiled, and I quite enjoyed it. Some thoughts (both positive and negative thoughts below) because I wanted to write them down as I chew over the show. Also my ramblings might be pleasurable to folks who are big fans and enjoy hearing about people listening to their thing for the first time?

Spoilers for all of TMA, but as I haven't listened to The Magnus Protocol yet (I'm sure I will) no spoilers for that.

thoughts in no particular order:

didn't know that my trypophobia could be activated aurally! thanks, season one. it's good to learn about yourself

because I had seen lots of fanarts around, I knew that Jon/Martin would eventually be a canon thing, so I just spent the early episodes making fun of Jon whenever he was mean about Martin. Jon would be like "ugh, Martin, amirite?" and I'd yell at the car speakers like "lol you're gonna MARRY that guy"

sometimes I found the show a little boring or too expositiony (like the episode where Leitner shows up) and it made me think a lot about the conditions of production, like, having fans who were super into the show and red stringing it up clearly made them want to explain things sometimes in a way not necessary to the story - or, at least, it didn't feel necessary to me as a casual listener who was coming in after the fact and not part of the fandom. maybe it felt necessary for other folks, or to the cast and crew at the time.

relatedly, oh god, I did not keep up with all the plotlines and stuff. like it took me a WHILE to realize that the show was not just gonna be standalone/anthology stuff and would have an overarching plot so I did not pay attention early on to repeated names or plots. and because I was listening on my commute I was like "welp, can't google it, gonna let it go" and I did. I'm here to tell you that the magnus archives is still enjoyable even if you don't care that much about what's going on

when I did really start to care was the end of season four/season five. absolutely love that they went there with the end of season four (I thought it'd just be a buffy-style "now we fight a BIGGER big bad at the end of this season" escalation forever, but no, they unleashed hell on earth, baller move, A+, loved it

so I was spoiled that Martin (and Jon? I wasn't sure) died at some point, though I didn't really know where or how. I also saw someone post something like "oh TMA, great show, too bad it ends after five minutes into episode 160" so from that I kind of extrapolated that Martin died in episode 160? so my experience of listening to that one was REALLY on tenterhooks because the first five minutes was Martin going for a nice walk! and then Jon getting taken over by the statement! so while listening to the middle bit of 160 I was convinced that when Martin came back from his walk Jon was gonna kill him (while possessed, obviously) as part of the ritual thing. so really the following 40 episodes of Martin being alive were pretty sweet to me. Every episode after that when Martin was alive I was like, score, bonus, love it, I'm glad Jon didn't stab him three seconds after they got into a relationship

kept listening for a physical description of Jon to match all the fanart and never got one? I guess the fanon of what Jon looks like is just super consistent for some reason?

hated Tim, I can't disguise it, I hated Tim and I was glad when he died and I was glad he didn't come back, sorry Tim fans, live your truth and I will live mine

wish there weren't so many cops on this show, tho the show did seem to recognize that a little in S5 and try to do some things about it

I'm just a huge sucker for every genre experiment in S5. omg I loved it. Terminus gets a coroner's report, The Unknowing gets slam poetry, The Flesh gets a gardening manual?????? mwah. it made me excited for the format of the statements again when they'd gotten stale. so many smart and interesting genre experiments in S5! and I, like Jon, don't even like poetry (just write some prose! I've never identified with a character more), so you know I'm impressed when I'm exclaiming about some poem

seriously! the genre experiments!!! so good

"queer couple navigate their new relationship and also The Hellscapes" = amazing, ty, also ty for doing it twice

somehow I managed not to notice the line about Jon being asexual at first and then I saw some tumblr post about it and I was like, wait what? my brain had gone pretty far down into some non-asexual fanfiction stories before I got that bit of canon and had to record-scratch freeze-frame. anyway I am pleased by the ace rep and hope to go read some non-sexual D/s for them in the future, please tell me if you know some good stuff

please also tell me if you know about fanfictions where Martin consensually feeds Jon his own memories and it's weird and intense

saw a cute fluffy domestic fanart where Jon was blind (ie had blinded himself to escape the eye) and I laughed and laughed that this is a fandom in which the happy fluffy AUs are the ones where the characters have violently blinded themselves. not to say I'm not gonna read the fluffy AUs where they've violently blinded themselves, I am, I'm sure they're lovely, it's just funny

don't think I wasn't thinking about Crowley and Aziraphale in the episode where Jon is like "what if we ran away together" in season four. When Jon is like "What if we ran away together, you and me, we could do it, what if we did" and he absolutely knows that Martin is not gonna say yes and maybe he doesn't want Martin to say yes but he wants to ask him anyway, he wants to try it anyway, because the fantasy of escape, together, is overpowering. anyway don't think I didn't think about Crowley

also laughed and laughed at the like four episodes at the end where Jon is like "maybe I should . . . . . . . . . . . become the Torment Nexus? From the classic scifi novel, Don't Become the Torment Nexus?" and first Martin and then everyone else is like "Jon, don't become the Torment Nexus" and it's really clear that you should not become the Torment Nexus but then later Jon says fuck it and becomes the Torment Nexus

I say it's really clear but the idea that you should strand and isolate and burn out the powers is not a bad one. I did like that the second to last episode was just a debate on morality with no clear resolution. that's a lovely way to send off your characters. tho it didn't matter a lot to the end plot? but still.

Jon "I think I'll just become the Torment Nexus" Simms, istg

THE TORMENT NEXUS

Sue Simms' voice is incredibly hot, Gertrude Robinson is absolutely deadass smokin, love how the Legend of Gertrude just built up over the seasons until by the end she was this like powerful callous avenging angel, no notes, might build a shrine in the woods with pictures of Gertrude in little jars

Gerry and Jurgen were both madly in love with her and she didn't notice or care because she was too busy kicking ass, no notes AT ALL

I really like the bit at the beginning of S5 where Jon is depression-listening to old archives tapes, like it's really effective to do the birthday party flashback just there when the world's just been apocalypsed, but I can't stop thinking about how Jon is listening to that tape and, in retrospect, being like "did Elias/Jonah use his all-powerful knowledge and vision to find out that there was cake in the office?" idk it really feels like Elias's motives in that flashback are like "eat cake" and no one else realizes that he's used his monstrous evil eye power to locate cake. anyway I imagine that Jon had all of these thoughts during his depression

Basira made me laugh ALL THE TIME, the voice acting was so good and she was so over everyone's shit. but at the same time there's this real softness to her at the end of S5 after she's killed Daisy, like she's still tough and grounded in her own perspective but suddenly more compassionate or sympathetic. she has such a good journey over the show

were Basira and Daisy a thing? I could not tell. maybe I should not ask. maybe I am not meant to know. maybe even asking shows how little I know, because their intense and murderous bond exceeds traditional relationship categories

I had a really nice time!!!

I will need to read fanfictions

I will need to watch animatics

I will need to seek out fanarts

the end

[wazzappp]

@rokhal okay so you see heres the problem. You asked too many good questions so I opened a google doc to answer them and then things just got going and then I ended up with an entire summary of the story I have so far.

ALSO thank you @moosemonstrous for helping me puzzle through my fugnking ramblings

Also it is IMPORTANT that you know I had this song on repeat the entire time I was plotting my nefarious schemes

OKAY SO. I’m thinking Robbie is some sort of specialized stealth unit. He was originally designed for high level infiltration but was repurposed by the human resistance in the future. He has skin with a metal endoskeleton just like the usual terminators but he ALSO has those nanobots that allow him to heal at the same pace as a normal human. They also would help with repairing any damage to internal systems like wiring. They could also be what repurposes food to grow his metal endoskeleton. I’m debating on whether he can manually speed that up for an accelerated healing process because that would require a level of control over his machinery that I’m not sure it would make sense for him to have right after figuring out he’s a machine. Maybe with some practice he could do it. OHHHHH OR IF HES IN SOME SORT OF ‘EMERGENCY DEFENSE’ MODE IT ACCELERATES AUTOMATICALLY THAT COULD BE FUN!!! 

Also I really like the idea of him being able to heal with those nanobots but like. SPECIFICALLY for Gabe. They’re programmed to create synthetic flesh and skin but only for certain genomes. His and Gabes are similar enough that they can help repair tissue if he’s injured. Like being a blood donor for matching blood types.

STORY WISE HERE’S WHAT IM THINKING: Eli still exists in this universe and he’s still a massive shithead. Still pushes Mama Reyes down a flight of stairs while pregnant with Gabe (their soon to be first child), still a serial killer and still involved with the mob. But shortly after Gabe is born, Eli is caught and sentenced to prison for life. The mob figures he told his brother’s family so that makes them a liability. They kill Alberto and Julianna, but leave Gabe alone in his crib. This happens when he’s about 6 months old.

While this is happening, Robbie is time traveled into the back yard of their house. He goes inside and puts on whatever clothes he can find. When police show up to check after getting a noise complaint from the neighbors, they find what looks to be a 5 year old boy soothing a crying baby and a massive burned hole in the backyard they think is just some sort of already detonated explosive. Everyone just assumes this kid is his brother and they try to get him out of the house without letting him see his dead ‘parents’. He doesn't talk much but does answer that his name is Robbie when asked. 

Things get REALLY weird when they go to the police station and find… absolutely nothing about him. No birth certificate, no social security number, no history of schooling, not even their notoriously nosy neighbors know anything about him. The Reyes’s had not marked down a dependent on their tax forms until Gabe.  Even when they look at the possibility of him being an undocumented immigrant; NOTHING. Half the guys think he’s an illegal alien that slipped through the cracks of.. EVERY country and the other half think he’s an ACTUAL alien For all intents and purposes the kid in front of them does not exist. Eli isn’t much help when asked, he just assumes ‘that bitch of his turned him against me didn’t even tell me that I had a nephew already here god DAMN her’. 

They quickly start questioning whether they're actually brothers, but genetic tests determine that they are. That, and the absolute INSISTENCE of the boy that ‘This is my brother. I HAVE to keep him safe’.

So they do what just about anyone might do. Decide this weird magically appearing child is someone else’s problem, and put them into foster care. From there the story stays about the same for a while. They know Eli exists but they honestly couldn't give less of a shit about him. That guy is never getting out on parole lmao. Robbie catches up with social development and for the most part fits in pretty good (he never gets sick. Like ever. Never gets so injured he has to go to the doctor for emergencies. Just regular checkups, which he passes through with a few raised eyebrows but still good). He’s still a GENIUS with cars and works at Canelos. He understands them in a way that usually takes years of experience way beyond what Robbie has. Things are going.. Not GREAT but they’re okay. And then AMADEUS FUCKIGN SHOWS UP.

Skynet of the future has sent back a Terminator to kill Gabe. No one is really sure WHY but they figure if skynet is going to such lengths to kill this kid then he must be worth protecting. So the human resistance sends back Amadeus to find Gabe and keep him safe from this Terminator. 

He steals some clothes, a gun and a car(not like hes really planning on settling down here anyway who cares about a few broken laws)  shows up at the Reyes residence, meets Gabe.. and basically all his plans blow up. This is absolutely NOT the type of person he was expecting and he sure as shit doesn't want to go anywhere with this random stranger. So naturally he kidnaps Gabe and starts getting the fuck out of the city (while also starting work on an electromagnetic field reader that he thinks can help detect terminators).

Robbie shows up back home after grocery shopping and uhhhhh Gabes NOT THERE theres BROKEN SHIT IN HIS HOUSE and the neighbors keep talking about a STOLEN CAR and some maniac who stole from a GUN SHOP. So he does the only reasonable thing he can think of, checks Life 360 hoping that Gabe still has his phone on him (he does) gets into his car and starts hunting them down. Between his crazy driving skills and freakish persistence, Amadeus can only conclude that Robbie is the terminator sent to kill Gabe.

When Robbie finally heads them off at an abandoned warehouse Amadeus tries to pull Gabe along with him and run away. But when Robbie steps out of his car, Gabe recognizes him and starts trying to get there. Amadeus is panicked, pointing his gun at Robbie to try and keep him away and, at this point, VERY confused. Because he’s pulled out his EMF reader and is getting some absolutely WACK readings off Robbie but hes also very much so being deterred by the gun (terminators couldnt gibe two shits about guns thlse metal fuckheads eat bullets for breakfast). The readings shortly get even more wack when the ACTUAL Terminator sent to kill Gabe shows up. Amadeus fires a couple of shots into the Terminator to confirm what he already knew (subsequently freaking both Robbie and Gabe out sufficiently enough to confirm that at least Amadeus isn’t entirely crazy). They pile into the Reyes-mobile and peel off shortly before the terminator gets into Amadeus’ abandoned stolen car and starts going after them.

Robbie is doing his best to ask what the FUCK is actually going on while getting away but Amadeus is still double checking his EMF readings because Robbie is DEFINETLY not human but also clearly isn’t here to kill Gabe. Quickly puts two and two together that for SOME reason SOMEhow Robbie is here to PROTECT Gabe from this other Terminator. Amadeus is. A little distracted because of this and keeps asking Robbie about his ‘Programming’ (sort of a “WOW your programming must be good you REALLY think he’s your brother and thats WHY you have to protect him!” “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHO WAS THAT GUY HOW DID HE KEEP WALKING AFTER YOU SHOT HIM” “It was a terminator keep up. Hey did you even TRY to call the police or did you just start coming after me because you knew it would be faster? Cause damnnnnn again. PROGRAMMING!”)

After finally losing the terminator that’s been on their tail, they find the police are not too happy about their reckless driving, arrest them and take them to the station to keep in a holding cell. While Robbie is in said holding cell with Amadeus (Gabe is presently being asked questions) there’s a police officer who recognizes him as that weird little kid who just appeared out of nowhere.

“Yeah we had absolutely NOTHING on you. It was like you hadn't existed until the day we found you!” So Robbie has to sit and listen to this while Amadeus is just confirming in his head what he already figured out. Being stuck in that cell trying to stay in denial with the guy whose favorite thing to say in the world is ‘I Told You So’ is not great. (un)Fortunately this is when the actual terminator shows up again.

This time, being faced with both the Terminator AND police trying to stop him from leaving, Robbies defense systems activate. He goes absolutely HAM on everyone in his way. He’s extremely default Terminator-like (Emotionless, distant, empty, quiet) in this state because all of his infiltration protocols have been halted. He even manages to fight off the other terminator decently well, but not before getting blasted in the arm with a shotgun shell. It goes deep enough that his metal endoskeleton is revealed. I also had this idea of like. His arm getting caught in something and he just stares at whoever trapped it there. Looks them dead in the eyes as he degloves his entire hand then beats the shit out of whoever got in his way with his metal fist. He stays in this state until they steal ANOTHER car, and he finally snaps out of it. And sees his hands covered in blood. And glimmers of his metal skeleton. And his brother looking at him in fear.

AND THATS WHAT IVE GOT RN I CAN'T WRITE LIKE YALL CAN I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR IT I HAVE TO GET ALL OF THIS OUT LIKE RIGHT NOW SO YEAH UHHHHHHH ENJOY

[ra-2506]

‿︵‿︵..••°° ☼✴️🏵️ꁞ🏵️✴️☼ °°••..︵‿︵‿

It was a regular day for the trauma dipped kids as they were sitting in the living room of class 1-As dorm just chilling out with some watching a series on the TV, some writing down some notes in his new notebook while Todoroki was making some cold soba for lunch, uraraka watching TV with Hakeeguri, Sero,Tsu, Momo.

Uraraka was trying to catch Dekus attention, but was failing miserably😞 and Tsu and Momo could see it unfortunately it was no use when it comes to him and that notebook😔, he's just too concentrated, that was until you walked into the dorms with your fine self with natural makeup on wearing a yellow super low cut hoodie top along with a couple chains and some baggy black sweatpants and grey J4s.

Everyones attention shifted to you👀 and not that your sports bra was slightly peaking out of cropped hoodie,but that:

1)you were one of the new transfer student from America for the Support department that everyone has been talking about for the past 3 weeks.

2)You were black and you don't see that many black people in Japan in general.

3) Bakugou was walking towards you and gave you a hand shake meaning you knew each other on a personal level.

Everytime he catches himself staring at your black beauty✨ he has to manually scrub his face and push his jaw away to look at the ceiling or something cause baby girl you were fine😩👌. "Hey dumbass, you brought what I asked for or did you just what to show off the shoes I bought you?" Bakugou started while analysing your outfit, "Does it really look like I would even step on this goody to shoes hero area if it wasn't for you asking for it", you sassed back.

Everyone was still in shock that you of all people were mutual friends with the Katsuki Bakugou aka The explosive tempered blonde kid in class 1-A aka the kid the won the Sports festival aka Dynamite aka Lord Explosion Murder aka I think you get the point.

"Wait a minute can we rewind back a bit here !?", Sero shouts with a suprised and confused expression that matched with most of the students in the lounge, "What you want flex tape?!", the blonde glared in the direction of the Hispanic sitting on the couch along with you turning as well.

You had violet doe eyes that so cute and adorable yet intemidating, " I just wanted to know who this chica was?", He smirked towards your direction trying to holla at you do matched his energy, "Yeah Bakugou why don't you introduce me to everyone and maybe give me his number", you turned to the blonde for him to just roll his eyes, " Chubs meet Flex tape" he groaned in irritation and you just gave him a look through your glasses.

"Hola los nombres Y/n L/n", you walked towards Sero and he shock your hand with a big impressed smile and the kissed it, "Hi the name's Y/n L/n," you translated for everyone whilst smiling, "El nombre es niña Sero", "the name is Sero baby girl 😉", Sero winked at you his hand coressing your hand in which you winked at his charm.

However everyone interrupted the moment by introducing theirselves, and you tried to make a mental note to try and remember all of them, but when it got to Deku you couldn't hold back your gasp which caught everyones attention, even though you were the centre of it to begin with 😌✨.

"So your the same Deku that literally blasted himself in the race last year but somehow Bakugou keeps talking shit about?", you questioned with a raised eyebrow in which he shyly nodded.

"What is wrong with you?!", turned to the blonde you were surprised by the shy broccoli boy, " "The Fuck?!", He glared to your direction.

"You made him seem like such a stuck up asshole", you playfully glared at the man beside you only for him to look down at your chubby self and just pull your arm to the hallway shouting to the class that their time with you was up even though there were some protest whines and complaints.

"Wow, you really want me all to your self huh?"😉 You winked at him as you went to his room but he just rolled his eyes at your flirting charm even though he like it since it always built tension that he found adorable.

Obviously he wouldn't ever say that in front of you, but he thought it'll be better that way.

You sat on his bed and opened your bag to pull out two thick silver bracelets, " the hell are those", Bakugou observed the two massive silver bands in your small hands you roll your eyes 🙄 and sighed heavily at his bluntness.

Like how can someone so smart be so damn stupid and good looking at the same time🧐.

Its what you asked for Blondes you stepped closer you put them on his wrists but he took a step back hesitantly as if an insured wolf protecting himself from further harm. "It's okay, I just need to make sure the bracelets will fit properly and if it'll need adjustments", speaking softly as to calm his nerves and you clipped the bracelets onto his wrists with his gaze on you as if making sure you don't do anything out of the question.

Whilst finishing with his right hand you brush your fingers against his skin to adjust the bracelets to not be too tight or lose and the blonde was blushing hard at the gentle care when you touch his scars and burns from his experiences and training but as well as your concentrated form only reaching up to his chest.

Before you can lift your hands from his wrists he grabs your arm taking you by suprise and you look up at him to only find him staring right back at your amethyst eyes when you into his ruby ones and just like that he tries to let go yet he still wants to have you this close to him and he wants to be vulnerable with you since your the only other person who gets his apart from kirishima. He likes you more then he wants to but he doesn't want to experience the pain of a lose again nor does he want to lose the opportunity to make you his but doesn't want to destroy your amazing friendship, but then a sudden warmth surrounds his chest and abdomen.

Your hugging him seriously hugging him out of nowhere and then your face is buried in his chest and he huggs you back with his chin resting on top of your head where he inhales the shea butter and coconut oil from the chemicals put in it. He really wanted to confess but he pulled away quickly with him covering his blushing face but not his ears.

In which you giggled at his soft side that you were so grateful that you were able to see, but a continuous beeping sound that activated the bracelets meaning that it was working perfectly fine and that it has been switched on. So... um th-they work so I did my work perfectly as expected" you awarkardly try to regain your confidence again but failed with the maroon blush on your face as you tried to shuffle out of the room but a strong arm pulled you back to have you facing Bakugou with his eyes fixed on you.

He knew he wasn't your type, and that he wasn't worthy of you, but he would be damned that he doesn't give it a try even if he loses you for admitting this disease to you, "Bakugou?", Your voice called to him confused at his actions, "I like you Y/n, since the day we were partnered together for this damn project and we started to spend time together we really made a connection and I know that you don't feel the same way, but I had to get it off my chest even if you will never think of me in that wa-

‿︵‿︵°°••.. ☼✴️🏵️ꁞ🏵️✴️☼ ..••°°︵‿︵‿

[queenofthekings]

ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ

Summary: You tell your family you're dating someone and at Christmas dinner, you panic and call the first person in your contacts.

Author’s note: The last of my Edancy fics now a Reader fic. Enjoy!

CW: Swearing, Eddie and Reader being shits to each other

Word count: 2.1k

Tagging: @reidsbtch, @lunatictardis, @battymunson

Any hate will not be tolerated, constructive criticism is welcomed.

“FUCK!” You yelled from your kitchen as you frantically tried to do five things at once. As it was your turn to host Christmas dinner, you decided to try your hand at making a traditional English roast… by yourself… and only using Google to help. You’d already burned various fingers, overcooked the Brussel sprouts twice and put sugar in the Yorkshire pudding after not quite understanding that it wasn’t actually dessert.

Long story short; you were completely fucked.

Just as things were going swimmingly, a text from your mother appeared on your phone; “Hi, sweetie; we’ll be there in 45 minutes! Can’t wait for your Christmas feast and to finally meet the boyfriend you’ve told me so much about!”

You stared at the text for several minutes before muttering a “bollocks” under your breath. You’d been so preoccupied with preparing everything for Christmas, you’d completely forgotten you’d invented a boyfriend so your parents would stop asking you when you would get one.

Your right eye twitching slightly with annoyance, you opened up your contacts and began to scroll through them. “Dated in high school, hooked up with once, married, married, therapist, I think he tried to sell me drugs once-” you stopped yourself as you looked at Eddie’s name in your contact list.

As much as you hated to admit it, you might just have to ask Eddie Munson for a favour of being your boyfriend for the afternoon. You pressed the call button on his name before rushing back into the kitchen to check on your roast turkey, it looked fine to you, but you had a sinking feeling it wasn’t going to be ready in time.

“Drugs Empire, this is Eddie speaking,” Eddie’s sarcastic and slightly bored tone came through the phone. You could hear faint clicking in the background, indicating he was in the middle of playing a video game.

“Eddie, emergency! You’re my boyfriend!”

“I-Sweetheart-” Eddie stuttered, instantly perking up while also almost falling out of his chair, “that’s a bit forward, don’t you think? I’m a bit rusty but I’ll give a quick glance at a manual.”

“No, no, you’re not actually my boyfriend.”

“Oh, that was quick. It’s a rollercoaster, this phone call.”

“Well, I need a boyfriend really quickly.”

“Well, I hope you’re nicer to the next one!”

“No, shut up! Christmas dinner, me cooking-”

“So?”

“So, I may have accidently invented a boyfriend.”

“Yeah I did that once in the Sims and there’s no easy way to get rid of them after you make them.”

“No not on the Sims! A pretend one, an imaginary one and I said he’d be coming to Christmas dinner.”

Eddie went silent for a few moments before you spoke up again, clearly defeated as you sat on your kitchen floor.

“I just need you to come for Christmas dinner, just do that for me. Just come to Christmas dinner and be my Christmas date, can you do that for me?”

From the other side of the phone, Eddie sighed as he paused his game. “Alright, fine, I’ll be there in 20 minutes. But you owe me massively for this.”

The call ended and you sprinted into the dining room to begin arranging the cutlery and crackers. You tried your best to make everything look uniform but somehow it didn’t look quite right. The decorations you’d put up weeks beforehand didn’t quite match the table set up, not that you could do much about it now.

The frown on your face was enough to kill a man stone dead until the doorbell rang, then you tried to smile. “It’s Christmas, it’s Christmas, it’s Christmas,” you whispered to yourself to try to smile but all you could muster was something akin to a grimace. Better than nothing.

You opened the door and instantly frowned again to see Eddie in front of you. “Oh, it’s you.”

“What do you mean ‘oh it’s you’? I’m your lord and saviour for this afternoon, thank you very much,” Eddie faked hurt as he pushed past you and towards the dining room.

“Sure, Eddie, just come right in,” you muttered as you slammed the door closed and jogged to keep up with him.

Stood in the dining room, the look of horror and confusion on his face was almost comical as he tried to find the words to say. “It looks like Martha Stewart threw up in here,” he finally said.

You whacked him in the stomach with your elbow. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that and continue walking into the kitchen.”

Without protesting, Eddie followed you into the kitchen and the look of horror and confusion returned in full force. “So, uh, what monstrosity are you cooking up in here?”

You sighed, finally ready to admit defeat. “Well, I was trying to make a traditional English roast, roast turkey with gravy, roast potatoes, carrots, parsnip, Brussel sprouts, broccoli, stuffing, and Yorkshire pudding. Then sticky toffee pudding for dessert. But it’s not going too well, as you can see.”

Eddie forced a smile, patting your shoulders. “We can fix this, sweetheart. Trust me, you got this. But first things first; what are you even listening to?”

You looked at him, confused. “It’s just some random Christmas music I found, why?”

He shook his head as he opened up Spotify on your phone, not letting you see what music he was going to select, a smile coming onto his face as he selected the choice. “This seems more like you.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Eddie, is this K-Pop?”

“Yeah, and?”

You chuckled as you checked again on the turkey. “I just didn’t picture you as the type to listen to Twice.”

“It’s to get the girls!” He raised his arms in surrender.

Shaking your head, you raised an eyebrow. “Eddie, you talk to three girls in your life on a consistent basis; one is a lesbian, one is married and the other is me. You’re not fooling anyone.”

“You want my help or not?” You didn’t answer. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Now we gotta talk relationships; how long have you told your parents we’ve been together?”

Licking your lips, you thought for a moment. “I think I first mentioned having a boyfriend around August.”

“You’ve faked having a boyfriend for four months?!” He couldn’t help but laugh as he snuck a carrot. “I’m impressed, sweetheart. So does this mean the relationship is still in the honeymoon phase or have we passed that?”

You laughed a little. “You’re more or less asking what would piss my dad off more; knowing I’m dating you or knowing I’m dating you and we’re still very touchy-feely with each other. Although, I would still say still somewhat in the honeymoon phase.”

He grinned, giving your ass a playful smack, igniting a small yelp from you. “Perfect,” the doorbell rang before he could do anything else, much to your relief.

“I’ll get the door, you stay here and stop eating my carrots,” you gave him the side eye as you walked out.

“But they’re good!” He called back, taking one last carrot before sulking.

You opened the front door and put on your best smile for your family. “Merry Christmas!” you exclaimed before you were pulled into a hug by your mother.

“I’m so glad you arranged this, sweetheart. We’ve been looking forward to this for weeks,” she pressed a hard kiss to your cheek before walking inside, followed closely by your father, your younger brother who was glued to his phone and your little sister who handed you a candy cane before disappearing off somewhere.

You closed the door behind them and ushered them into the living room before grabbing Eddie from the kitchen. “Any pet names and touching are fine, I’ll give you two taps on your arm if it gets too much, understood?” you hissed.

“Yes, ma’am,” Eddie whispered back, forcing a smile as both of you walked into the living room.

Your forced smile was almost sickening as you looked at your family, gripping Eddie’s hand. “Everyone, this is Eddie, my boyfriend.”

The looks on your family’s faces said it all; your mother’s smile was just as forced as yours and Eddie’s, your father was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, your brother looked as if he wanted the ground to swallow him up whole and your sister just facepalmed.

Dinner wasn’t much better, with everyone sitting and eating in almost complete silence – only broken by the occasional question to pass a certain food until your mother spoke up. “So, how did you two meet?”

You almost choked on a parsnip, Eddie gently patting and rubbing your back as he chuckled softly. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I got this. Well, we met back in August at Scoops Ahoy, of all places, she was there with Robin and Chrissy, and I walked into her and made her drop her ice cream. So of course, I bought her a new one and then we just got talking, I asked for her number, and I guess the rest is history.”

He looked at you as if you were the only thing that mattered to him, the tenderness and love in his eyes was almost believable. He smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek before going back to eating. You felt a change in your stomach, suddenly feeling somewhat regret that all this was fake. It hadn’t really dawned on you how much you missed companionship outside of friendship until you were alone with Eddie.

After the main meal was over, both you and Eddie disappeared back into the kitchen to get dessert ready. Eddie forked all the leftovers into a pot to be saved while you assembled the plates for the sticky toffee pudding, both of you not speaking to each other even though you could both feel the tension between you. But both of you being as stubborn as the other, you weren’t going to be the first to admit to anything.

“Eddie, could you get the ice cream out of the freezer? There should be a massive pot of vanilla right as you open it,” you requested, being sure to not get too sticky from the treacle.

“Of course, honey.” Eddie said almost harshly, opening the freezer and handing you the pot. You gave him a smile and instantly began plating the ice cream over the large squares of goodness, leaving one plate of just ice cream for your little sister. “Are we okay?”

You frowned slightly, nodding your head. “Yeah, we’re fine. Why would you think something’s up?”

“Because you’ve been quiet almost this whole time since your mom asked how we met.”

You slowly licked your lips, shaking your head. “I’m fine, we’re fine, I just got distracted by thinking about dessert.”

He chuckled almost bitterly, grabbing a couple of the bowls to take out. “You’re not fooling anyone, sweetheart.”

You sighed, bringing the rest of the bowls out before sitting down at the table. “I hope this goes down as well as the roast, just don’t give any to the little one because there is alcohol in this.”

Everyone laughed and tucked in, you slowly picking at your food and forcing yourself to eat. Eddie noticed your discomfort and placed a hand on your thigh, gently rubbing the inside of it with his thumb. You sat up straighter, trying to keep your composure as you gave Eddie a side glance of “what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Eddie smirked at you, feeding you a mouthful of ice cream.

Once dessert was over and your family left, the pair of you were back in your kitchen, beginning to load up the dishwasher, still not wanting to fully talk about the day’s events. Both of you could obviously feel the difference between each other; you stopped being as sarcastic to each other, and it seemed both of you wanted it to be real, but you just had to find a way to tell it to each other.

You looked at Eddie and muttered a “screw it” under your breath before grabbing him and kissing him. Eddie was taken aback for a second until he came to his senses and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. Both of you felt the spark, your heart’s skipping a beat and the warm glow in your stomachs.

Oh shit.

Eddie was the one to pull away from the kiss. “You’re a bitch,” he whispered against your lips.

You chuckled softly. “And you’re an asshole.”

“Can I take you out for dinner sometime, then?”

“Yeah, alright.”